


I Will Follow You Into the Dark

by raptorginger



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Childhood Friends, Coming of Age, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, He's certainly not saying, Hurt/Comfort, I mean it this time, Is Ben a pirate?, Late 1800s AU, OOC Unkar Plutt, Outer Banks, Past Abuse, Scavenger Rey (Star Wars), Slow Burn, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, in a good way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-06-12 14:09:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15341508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raptorginger/pseuds/raptorginger
Summary: Late one night, Rey is scavenging the ocean beach and finds something quite unexpected - the unconscious and bloodied body of a young man.  She nurses this stranger back to health, and he decides to stick around.Ten years later, Rey has grown into a young woman, and longs for her Ben to see her as more than a little girl.  But, ghosts from Ben’s past haunt him and have returned to lay claim…





	1. Scavenger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plutt using a horse and lantern to lure ships to their doom is actually based on possibly factual accounts. That's how the city of Nags Head got its name. Unscrupulous characters would attach a lantern to the head of a horse and walk it along the beach. Ships going by would assume it was another boat based on the bobbing of the lantern and crash and sink, leaving their cargo for the looting.

**Nags Head, Outer Banks, North Carolina 1868**

The sand was cold and coarse beneath the girl’s small bare feet. Her wool skirts were heavy from the damp, and she clutched at them in a desperate attempt to keep them from touching the water. The smell of salt was so thick in the air, the girl could taste it on her tongue. There was no light, there never was, except the light of the moon and the glowing sea life that skimmed the surface of the ocean water. Sky and sea were an endless void of blue black, the glowing creatures mirroring the stars in the sky. It was disorienting for a lot of people. Rey dared not venture too close to the water’s edge, lest she get dragged away in a rip tide. She’d seen it happen before and had no desire to become victim to the sea. Plutt had taught her to respect the sea, since it had no respect for her. 

So far, her scavenging tonight had been fruitless. Plutt had been out earlier with his horse and lantern, but the girl Rey found nothing to indicate he’d managed to lure a ship in. She sighed. He would not be happy in the morning. The little girl was about to give up and head back to the shanty she called home when a dark lump in the distance caught her eye. Rey bunched up her skirts and scampered hastily towards the spot, tripping and sliding in the wet sand. She hoped it was something good. She had been helping Plutt for four years, scavenging the beaches around Nags Head for him, which was roughly half her life, if she had her math right. Plutt had taught her basic numbers, and how to read after she’d been orphaned and he found her picking through the sand one night, but numbers weren’t his strong suit, so Rey had no idea truly. Plutt picked the day he found her to call her birthday and decided she was four, since she hadn’t remembered, and the seasons had cycled four times since then. Rey was pretty sure half of eight was four. He wasn’t a mean man, exactly. He gave Rey food, gave her a little money, and let her keep the things he didn’t want. Sometimes she’d sell them, sometimes she’d keep them. She tried not to think too hard about how she came by her things, like her favorite doll. He’d helped her build up the little shanty she lived in by the beach so it could withstand some of the more extreme weather that got thrown at the Outer Banks.

She hoped whatever the lump was wasn’t too heavy. She didn’t have to bring the large stuff to Plutt’s house in town, but she did have to drag it to one of their secret hiding places on the beach so his other helpers could get it later. She reached the lump, finding a small wooden crate. She gave a squeal of excitement. Plutt would be happy. Things he liked usually came in wooden crates. She tugged the crowbar she always kept with her on these scavenging trips from the tie of her apron and wedged it beneath the crate’s lid. She gave a little jump, pushing all her weight down onto the bar, pleased to hear the creaking of the nails coming loose. She gave it another go, popping the lid off entirely. She hooked the crowbar back into her apron strings and squinted into the box. It was hard to tell in the dark, but it looked like bottles. Rey gave the crate a jiggle, hearing glass clink. Definitely bottles. She reached in and pulled one out, giving it a shake. It was heavy, and something sloshed around inside. That was a good sign. She felt around the neck of the bottle, checking to make sure it was still sealed. Finding no break in the wax, she placed it carefully back into the box. She pawed around, counting twelve bottles, all intact. Plutt would be very happy.

Rey tugged her dragging net from her large front pocket, laying it carefully in front of the box. After several minutes of maneuvering, she managed to wiggle the box and tug the net underneath it. She threw the extra length of the net back over the box, grabbing all four corners and began to drag her prize away from the surf. Luckily she wasn’t too far from one of their secret dune pits, and she managed to reach it after an hour or so. She uncovered the pit door, feeling around for the raised number so she’d know what to tell Plutt in the morning. She reached into the pocket of her skirt for the key, fumbling in the dark with the lock. Throwing the heavy wooden door back against the dune, she pushed the box inside, tugging her net free. She closed and locked the door, pocketing her key. She wiped the sweat and sand from her brow with the linen of her shirt sleeve. Her hair was limp and plastered against face and neck. Her arms and legs were tired, and she turned for home. A crate of something in bottles would be good enough. She gave the beach one last scan and was surprised to see another lump a bit further down the beach than the box had been. She sighed. She might as well take a look. If it was small, it wasn’t too far from this pit, and if it was big, well, she’d let some other scavenger find it. Plutt didn’t need to know.

She made her way slowly to the lump, her heart sinking as it got bigger and bigger. It was definitely bigger than the box. She was about five feet away when her brow furrowed and she squinted. The lump was a weird shape, one she didn’t recognize. Things she found were usually in barrels or crates. This almost looked like…

Rey gave a terrified squeak as she realized she was looking at a body. She tugged her crowbar free and approached slowly, cautiously. Plutt had always told her to run the opposite direction if she ever found a body, but something about this one told her not to. Whoever it was was face down in the sand, their arms outstretched, like they had pulled themselves from the sea. It was too dark to tell if it was a man or woman without flipping the body over, but they were tall, whoever they were. Rey assumed it was a man, since the body had a pair of black pants on and what was probably once a white shirt. Rey poked the form in the back gently with her crowbar, jumping back in case it moved. It didn’t. She approached and poked again. Nothing. She stowed her crowbar and went slowly down on her knees, pushing against the body’s side with all her might to flip it over. With some effort and grunting, she turned the body, falling back onto her rear as it fell on its back. 

Rey crawled forward, reaching out a small hand to brush the sand and hair from the form’s face. It was a man, but a young one she guessed. Rey felt a large mouth and nose, sharp cheekbones. His hair was somewhat long and caked with sand. In the moonlight Rey caught the shimmer of blood along one side of his face down to his chest. He’d been cut there, and not too long ago if it hadn’t healed yet. She held her fingers under his nose and waited. She felt her cold fingers warm slightly. She squeaked again. He was still alive. She pressed her ear to his chest, listening for a heart beat. Sure enough, one came, strong but slow. Rey raised her head and looked around the beach, looking for, something. She didn’t really know. Something that indicated there’d been a shipwreck or a lifeboat or a raft or just, something. Something that told her where this boy had come from. It really did appear like he’d dragged himself out of the sea.

Rey huffed. He wouldn’t last out here. The night was cold, and he was cold from the ocean water. She made up her mind, tired as she was. She tugged her net out again and twisted it into a makeshift rope. She looped it around the boy’s ankles, above his bare feet, and secured it with a special knot Plutt had showed her. Then, she began to tug and drag the boy back to her little house. It was hard; he was much heavier than anything she’d ever had to drag around for Plutt. But, she gritted her teeth and soldiered on. She was determined to save this boy. 

The gentle lavender light of dawn was just beginning to creep out from the horizon when Rey reached home. Dragging the boy into the darkness of the shanty as close to the hearth as she dared, Rey untied his ankles and went about lighting a fire in the grate with wood from the box nearby. The blaze flared quickly to life, as the wood was quite dry. Rey recalled hearing that a person in such a state should have their clothing removed, so she grabbed her knife from the table and cut the boy’s shirt off, tugging it away and using it to further wipe sand from his face. Some of the sand was in his cut, and Rey winced. He’d carry that wound for the rest of his life. She couldn’t bring herself to remove his trousers. Standing on a stool, she tugged a few heavy woolen blankets down from a nearby shelf, rolling one and placing it under the boy’s head, and wrapping the other around him as best she could, tucking the edges underneath him. She grabbed a cup from her small table and ran outside, filling it with fresh water. She poured half over his cut, and set the cup beside him for when he woke up. Rey hoped he would wake up.

Satisfied that she’d done what she could for the boy, she skittered up the ladder past her sleeping bunk to the top where she kept a few things that she didn’t want near the ground in case of water or vermin, clutching her knife to her chest. She hid behind a sack of flour and waited, never taking her eyes off the boy on the floor. His skin was deathly pale, his hair jet black. His lips were an unhealthy purple blue color. His cut was like a river of crimson across his pale skin. Rey shivered. Something about him made her uneasy, but she fought the feeling away. He was just a boy, and he needed her help.

Try as she might to fight it, her eyes began to flutter closed. Exhausted from her efforts, the little girl Rey collapsed against the sack of flour, her knife falling from her fingers to the floor with barely a sound, and drifted off into a deep sleep. She might have slept through the whole morning if the sound of terrified screaming and shouts hadn’t woken her.


	2. Storm's Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it's removed from the mainland, historically many people native to the Outer Banks are described as having a brogue not unlike a British or Irish accent.
> 
> Some information on the Freedmen's Colony of Roanoke Island can be found [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedmen%27s_Colony_of_Roanoke_Island)

**Nags Head, Outer Banks, North Carolina 1868**

Rey hid behind the sack of flour as the boy thrashed about on the floor. He seemed to be fighting an imaginary assailant, his arms and legs flailing. The sounds he made were guttural and terrifying to Rey, and she let out an involuntary whimper. The boy stopped, leaping into a crouched position, one hand clutching the cut on his face the other helping to bear his weight on the rough wood floor. Whatever healing his wound had accomplished overnight was undone by his thrashing, and fresh blood began to bloom along the line on his chest and dripped through his fingers. His hair was a matted mess, his eyes wild. His breath was a hissing sound through clenched teeth. Rey thought of the feral dogs that sometimes roamed the beaches. They were another reason she was happy to have her crowbar.

She peeked around the sack of flour down at the dog boy, as she now thought of him. He was looking wildly from side to side before he raised his gaze to the top bunk where she was hiding, as if he could feel her hazel eyes on him. His ferocious expression shifted into one of confusion, and his breathing slowed. Rey leaned further out, edging away from the flour sack and resting on her heels at the edge of the bunk. The boy mimicked her, sitting back on his own heels as he continued to clutch at his wound.

They regarded each other for a long time, neither saying a word. Rey tilted her head a little. The boy was tall, but awkwardly lanky, like a puppy that still had to grow into its paws. His face was strange, mouth and nose and ears too big, but Rey liked it all the same. His eyes were a deep brown, but clouded by fear. Very little color had come back into the boy’s skin, and a terrifying thought occured to Rey.

“Are you a ghost?” she whispered. She’d heard the old men tell stories about Edward Teach, the pirate Blackbeard, and how his ghost roamed the shores on moonless nights looking for his head. Maybe this boy was one of his men, cursed to roam just like his captain.

One corner of the boy’s mouth twitched, and he shook his head.

Rey relaxed and pointed to the boy’s cut. “That’ll need tending to then. Will you let me? I know a little bit of medicine,” she offered.

It was the boy’s turn to tilt his head, and he nodded.

Rey scurried down the ladder quick as a mouse, and the boy hopped backwards, watching her with wary eyes. She went to a small box she kept on her table, tugging it off and carrying it over to the hearth. Opening it, there were some clean cotton wrappings, a bottle of clear liquid, and a jar of salve.

“Where’s my...oh, there it is.” Rey muttered under her breath. She walked back over to the bunk wall and picked up her knife, making sure to carry it limply back. The boy was watching the sharp blade carefully.

Rolling out a length of cotton, Rey cut it with the knife, repeating the procedure until she had a small pile of five bandages. She took out a small square of soft cloth from the box and dampened it with liquid from the bottle. The boy lowered his blood covered hand away from his face.

“This is going to hurt,” Rey said apologetically as she dabbed at the cut. The boy hissed through his teeth as the antiseptic came in contact with the open wound, but he held still for her. Rey cleaned his wound in silence, focused on her work and trying not to cause him any unnecessary pain. It seemed he’d already been through enough. With most of the blood gone, Rey took out the jar of salve and started smearing the sticky poultice on his cut, applying the lengths of bandages over it.

“This’ll help prevent too much scarring. I got it from Old Lady Maz in town. You’re in Nags Head, you know. That’s in the Outer Banks,” Rey murmured in a conversational tone.

At the boy’s shocked expression, she added, “In North Carolina. Outsiders tell us we sound British. Did you come from England?”

The boy’s expression drifted far away then, and Rey resumed her silent focus. He could tell her later. After maybe a quarter of an hour, Rey finished her work. She sat back and admired her handiwork. It wasn’t bad, all things considered. The wound shouldn’t become infected, at any rate, as long as she kept the bandages clean. She’d have to go get another kit from Maz. Maybe Plutt had some old clothes she could give him. She stood, barely taller than him even though he was sitting and dusted her hands. 

“You need to rest,” she stated plainly. “You can have my bunk there,” she pointed to the middle of the bunk wall. “Go.”

His mouth twitched again, and he unfolded himself from the floor and stood. Rey had to almost crane her neck to look him in the eye.

“I have to go into town to get some things. You’ll be safe here,” she added when a panicked look flashed across his face. She took his much larger hand in both her small ones and tugged him to the bunk. She watched as he bent and maneuvered his way onto the bed. She inhaled sharply when she saw the scars that littered his back. Some were silvery and white, long healed, and others were still an angry pink, newer. She’d seen scars like that only on the backs of some sailors and the black folks around town. Maz had those scars. Finn had those scars. Flogging they’d said. Rey’s blood boiled. No wonder he was scared.

She readjusted some of his bandages and tucked her wool blanket tight around him. She rested her favorite doll next to his head on the pillow. It was a plain muslin doll with a rough stitched face and patchwork clothes that Rey had made herself. “This is Lottie. She’ll watch you while I’m gone,” Rey said with the confidence of a little girl that still had that faith that all small children do in the magic of their treasured playthings. The boy gave her a bemused look, but nodded in thanks all the same. She ran and got a cup of water and made sure he drank the whole thing before she grabbed her little shawl and her drawstring bag with some coins. 

As she fastened the bag to her apron, she turned and said, “My name is Rey. You don’t have to tell me yours yet if you don’t want.”

The boy made no indication that he was going to answer her, so Rey opened the door to leave. 

“Ben,” he croaked out, his voice still somewhere between a boy’s and man’s. 

Rey hid her surprise. “Okay. Ben then. I’ll be back soon. Try to sleep.” She closed the door quietly behind her and ran towards town, skirts and hair flying in the rough sea breeze. A storm was coming.

***

She stopped at Plutt’s first to tell him where she’d stashed the crate she’d found last night. She had no intention of mentioning what else she’d found. She was afraid Plutt might turn Ben over to the constable, and there was no way she was letting that happen. Plutt lived on the edge of town in a modest sized home on stilts. A lot of the wealthier people in town had houses like Plutt’s, just bigger. She hoped she could live in such a house one day. Rey dashed up the stairs as fast as her small legs would carry her and knocked on the front door. A wizened old man answered the door. His white hair stood at odd angles around his head in irregular tufts. His clothes were maybe a hair younger than he was - a simple shirt, yellowed with age, grey trousers and suspenders, ancient leather shoes. His cheeks drooped and wrinkles made deep tracks in the dark skin across his face. His eyes were a clear blue, with crow’s feet in the corners. Plutt employed two servants, this man and his wife, a cookmaid. They always treated Rey kindly, which she appreciated. Not many people in town did. The cookmaid usually gave her a cloth sack filled with biscuits when she came by, sometimes with sweet tarts if she was feeling generous.

“Is he home, Mr. George?” Rey asked the old man.

“In the study,” George rasped.

Rey scampered past him. “Thank you!”

“Stop by the kitchen before you go. Matilda has a present for you,” George called after her.

“Okay!”

Rey ran past the main stairs and a series of dark empty rooms to the back of the house where Plutt’s study was. The door was closed, which was a bit unusual. Rey gave a knock.

“Aye!” she heard Plutt call from inside.

She opened the heavy door cautiously and with some difficulty. The knob required both of her hands to turn it was so big. It creaked on its hinges as Rey pushed it open slowly.

“Hurry up, Girl, hurry up,” Plutt called from behind his desk, his voice thick with annoyance.

Rey scurried inside quickly. Plutt, a large heavy set man, sat behind his ponderous desk, a heavy piece of dark wood, intricately carved.

“Well?” he demanded sharply.

“Number four. I found a crate…” Rey began before she stopped, realizing Plutt was not alone. A thin man of medium height stood off to the side of the room, obscured by the darkness and shadows. Plutt had the shutters pulled closed and only the lamp on his desk was lit, making the man almost impossible to see.

“Yes, yes a crate. With what?” Plutt snapped.

“Umm, twelve bottles of some liquid. They were heavy. Still sealed,” Rey stammered. The man in the shadows scared her.

Plutt clapped his meaty hands together, clearly pleased as Rey knew he would be. “Excellent excellent, Little One.” He fished around in his pocket and laid some coins and paper money on the desk for her. Rey dashed forward and was scooping it up when a gnarled hand with leathery tan skin shot out and grabbed her wrist. Rey yelped in protest, falling silent when she saw the pirate brand on the top of his wrist.

“Did you find anything else on the beach last night, Girl?” the man asked in voice that chilled Rey down to her very core.

“N-n-no,” she stuttered. “That was all.” The man released her. Rey skittered back as far away from him as she could, holding her wrist like she’d been burned. Her skin was freezing where he’d touched her. She only caught a glimpse of him before he retreated into the shadows, but she got the impression of a skeleton in men’s clothes. She was definitely going to make sure Plutt didn’t find out about Ben. She didn’t want him to tell the skeleton man.

Plutt waved his hands, dismissing her. “Go on then, I’ll let you know when I need you out again.”

She needed no further instruction. Rey ran out of the room, glad to be away from the skeleton man. She ran directly to the kitchen, eager to be surrounded by its warmth. Matilda was stirring something in a pot by the fire, a mop cap doing nothing to hide her wild white hair. She was dressed in a plain cream colored servants dress, a shawl pinned over her shoulders, the light colors contrasting sharply with her dark skin.

“Well hi there, Little Rey,” she said warmly, turning when Rey bounded in.

“Hi Miss Matilda,” Rey replied, rushing up to her, burying herself in the woman’s ample skirts, wrapping her slim arms around the woman’s middle. 

Matilda patted her on the head, returning her embrace, giving a small laugh. “What’s got you all in a tither?”

Rey leaned back, looking up into the woman’s kind face, her eyes like gingerbread. “The skeleton man in Mr. Plutt’s study.” Rey shuddered.

“Ahh yeah, he’s a right terrifying sort,” Matilda said, patting Rey comfortingly on the back.

Rey looked around to make sure they were alone before she whispered conspiratorially, “He had a pirate brand on his arm.”

Matilda hummed thoughtfully. “Did he now?”

Rey nodded. “Have you heard anything about pirates around here, Miss Matilda?”

“Well now,” Matilda began as she sat in the chair by the fire, indicating to Rey that she should seat herself at the long kitchen table, “I hear talk that the fearsome Captain Snoke is about in these waters. Talk is he’s lost something and he means to find it.”

“Like treasure?!” Rey exclaimed as she helped herself to a bit a bread that had been left out, nibbling intently.

“No, they say he’s lost his most powerful weapon. A most fearsome ghoul named Kylo Ren. They say Snoke calls him forth from the pit of Hell itself to wreak his terrible wrath upon his enemies.”

Rey breathed a sigh of relief. Ben was called Ben, not Kylo Ren. And he certainly didn’t look like a ghoul from Hell itself. Rey had seen the kindness under the fear. Ghouls from Hell weren’t kind, didn’t get scared, and didn’t have soft brown eyes.

“So watch out when you’re out at night, Child. Dangerous beings about,” Matilda finished, standing up from her chair, the crack of old bones sounding softly in the warm room.

Rey leapt from the bench at the table. “Okay Miss Matilda.” She remembered she needed to get clothes for Ben. George might have been as tall as Ben once. “Oh, do you have any old clothes of Mr. George’s? I, umm, need them for something.”

Matilda’s eyes sparkled with mirth. “Something, ehh? I think I might have some lying about. Dressing a scarecrow?”

Rey gave a laugh. “Yeah, something like that. I want to scare the mean dogs away.”

Matilda gave her a look that said she didn’t believe one word Rey said, but she played along. “Alright Rey. You go wait by the door and I’ll be along with some of George’s old things for your scarecrow. Take that bundle, too.” She pointed to a neatly wrapped parcel on the table and Rey snatched it up, giving it a greedy sniff. It was warm in her hands and smelled of biscuits and fruit tarts. Rey’s mouth watered. She couldn’t wait to share them with Ben. She hoped he liked tarts.

She waited by the front door, bouncing on her toes, waiting for Matilda. The house was dark and growing darker as storm clouds started rolling in. Rey needed to hurry. She still needed to see Maz and get some things to make some food for her and Ben. She didn’t know much about cooking, but Matilda had taught her how to make a stew. It was the easiest thing Matilda could think of to teach a six year old at the time.

Matilda came down the stairs with another neatly wrapped bundle, this one much larger that her biscuits. It definitely held more than one set of clothes. Matilda had thoughtfully secured it with a pair of George’s old suspenders so Rey could sling it across her back instead of hold it in her arms. The clothes were wrapped in a large old wool coat of George’s, and Rey looked up at Matilda in surprise. She certainly hadn’t expected so much.

“I want your scarecrow to be warm,” Matilda said, smiling.

Rey rushed at her and gave her another hug, holding her tight. “Thank you, Miss Matilda. Say thank you to Mr. George too.”

Matilda waved as Rey dashed out and down the stairs, heading straight for the market.

George came up behind Matilda, putting his arm around her shoulders. “Storm’s coming,” he murmured, his old voice raspy and knowing.

Matilda grasped at his fingers, thinking of the little girl Rey and what she’d probably gotten herself into. She looked out to sea, where the outline of a ship could be seen in the distance, dark and ominous. “Storm’s already here.”

***

Rey dashed quickly through the market, grabbing the simple ingredients she needed for a stew. Meat, carrots, potatoes. She had salt and flour at home. She grabbed some herbs too. She had learned a little bit about different herbs and plants from Matilda and Maz. The market vendors didn’t have time to chatter with her today, as they were all in a hurry to get packed up and inside before the storm hit. The wind was getting rougher as Rey ran the final leg to Maz’s house. Maz lived on the opposite edge of town from Plutt, but she was closer to Rey’s so Rey had wanted to visit her last. She knocked sharply on the door, wanting to get home herself. A small dark skinned boy answered, her friend Finn. Finn and Maz had come over to Nags Head together after they’d been kicked out of Freedmen’s Colony on Roanoke after the war. Finn had no family, and Maz had taken him in. Finn stepped aside and let Rey in.

“Storm’s coming, Rey. Why aren’t you at home?” Finn asked, concerned. He was only a little older than Rey, but he was always concerned about one thing or another like a grown up.

“Where’s Maz? I need another medicine box or two,” Rey replied. “Can you please hurry?” Rey asked, jumping slightly as the wind picked up speed again and a crack of thunder could be heard off in the distance.

Finn nodded. “Maz!” he called. “Rey’s here. She needs medicine boxes!”

“Does she now?” came Maz’s distinct voice from the back of the cabin. Maz stepped out, her small form hunched with age. Finn rushed to help her, but Maz waved him off. She walked with a cane now, but her light eyes were still sharp. Rey sometimes thought Maz was a witch, but she was too scared to ask. Maz seemed to know everything, even knew things before they happened sometimes. The town had a doctor, but a lot of the poorer folk like Rey came to Maz.

Rey nodded in response to Maz’s question. “Yes, Ma’am. Please.”

“Fetch down two boxes, and wrap them up, Finn,” Maz said over her shoulder. Finn rushed over to a shelf that held a number of different and odd items, digging around until he found what he was looking for near the back. He stacked the small boxes carefully, wrapping them in plain cloth and tying the ends neatly before handing it to Rey. Before she took it, Rey reached into her pouch and held the remainder of her money out to Maz.

Maz shook her head. “No charge today, Child. I’ll think of another way.” She paused a moment. “Finn’s too small to do some repairs I need done around here by himself. Perhaps you know someone?” Maz asked, her clear eyes twinkling knowingly.

Rey tucked her money back into her pouch and took the package from Finn. His eyebrow was raised curiously. “Umm, maybe? Can I let you know?”

Maz smiled. “Of course. Off with you before the wind takes you away.”

Rey ran out into the coming storm, medicine in one hand, biscuits and food in the other, a huge bundle of clothes on her back towards her little home where Ben waited.


	3. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter :O)

_Darkness._

_All around him was darkness. And cold. The cold was like knives, stabbing him all over again and again._

_A flash._

_He was on the deck of the First Order, tied to the mast. He was a child. Snoke was cracking a whip across his back. Over and over. He was screaming. Over and over._

_A flash._

_He was holding a blade to the throat of some pitiful merchant, the man begging for his life. The rest of the man’s crew lay dead around him, their blood making rivers of deep crimson across the deck. Snoke was hissing at him to use his rage, to end the man’s life. He obeyed._

_A flash._

_He was dragging himself out of the water, grabbing handfuls of cold wet sand in his hands. He could feel it beneath his bare feet as he pushed and pulled himself from the water’s icy grasp._

_A flash._

_He was a boy again. Before the darkness. Running through the halls of his family’s home. Laughing. His father and mother chasing him. Laughing. Warmth._

***

**Nags Head, Outer Banks, North Carolina, 1868**

Rey jumped every time there was a crack of thunder. Every time the lightning flashed. She could hear the rain coming down in sheets as she pulled her shawl tighter around her tiny shoulders. She hated thunderstorms. She tried to focus on stirring the stew in the pot over the fire. She lit every lamp she had plus the fire, so it was nice and warm and bright in the little house. She looked over her shoulder. Ben was still asleep. Every once and awhile, he would twitch or whimper with some horrible dream, and Rey would tip toe over, climb up the ladder, and tuck Lottie closer to him. It was on one of those trips that she checked his wrists for a pirate brand. She breathed a sigh of relief when she found none.

Satisfied the stew would be fine if she left it for a minute, she went to her small rectangular table and unwrapped the biscuits and tarts, the wonderful pastry smell filling her nose. She dug out two bowls and spoons from a tiny cupboard, setting them beside the baked goods. She had more wrappings and salve laid out for when Ben woke up. When everything was finally ready, she resumed her position at the fireplace, and stirred the stew absentmindedly, waiting.

Rey was beginning to feel herself drifting off when a clunking sound and a sharp groan jolted her out of her daze. Shooting out of her chair, Rey turned and saw Ben standing on the floor in front of the bunk wall, one hand holding his head, the other braced on the ladder. He’d hit his head sitting up in the bunk. Rey pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh. It shouldn’t be funny, but he was so tall. Ben looked confusedly around, trying to get his bearings. Rey approached him slowly.

“Hello, Ben. Remember me?” she asked.

Ben’s eyes shot to her. A look of recognition flashed across his face. He nodded. “Rey,” he whispered.

Rey smiled and nodded. “I need to change your bandages. And I made some food. You need to eat.”

Ben continued to look at her, his gaze intense and slightly confused, as if he couldn’t fathom someone being kind to him, doing these things for him.

“You’re not much used to this kind of thing, are you?” Rey asked.

Ben cleared his throat, his voice rusty from disuse. “Not really. Not in a long time.” A shower of sand fell from his hair as he shook his head.

Rey gave a small laugh. She walked over to the pile of clothes, grabbed a shirt, pants, and drawers and handed them to Ben. She went to a shelf and grabbed a rough cloth towel and a cake of soap, standing on her tiptoes so she could place both on top of the clothes. Ben raised one dark eyebrow.

“There’s a washroom of sorts just there off the kitchen. Rainwater funnels in from the top and drains out the bottom. It won’t be warm, but you can get clean. These are from Mr. George.”

If Ben wondered who Mr. George was, he didn’t say.

The thunder cracked again, this time sounding like it was directly overhead. Rey instinctively latched onto Ben, wrapping her arms around his middle. Ben shifted the pile he was holding to one hand and patted her back reassuringly.

“I’ll be right back, Rey,” he croaked, his voice not quite back yet.

Rey nodded, letting him go. While Ben went about his business, Rey went to the bunk and dragged the thin mattress and pillow down, shaking the sand out and shoving them back into place. She changed the linen bed sheet and pillow case and got a new heavy blanket, tucking Lottie beneath it. She made up the bottom bunk as well. She moved the pot of stew from the fire to an iron trivet on the table, carefully ladling portions of the hot meal into the bowls. By the time she was starting to eat, Ben had finished, walking over to the fire and laying the towel on the hearth to dry. 

He sat beside Rey and fixed her with that intense look. “Thank you,” he murmured.

Barely sparing him a glance, as she was starving, Rey merely nodded, a “You’re welcome” sound coming from her mouth. She pushed his bowl towards him, encouraging him to eat.

Ben tucked in to the meager repast gratefully, and they ate in companionable silence, the crackle of the fire and the rolling of thunder the only sounds.

***

Long after the dinner dishes had been cleared away, Rey still knew hardly anything about the boy other than that his name was Ben. He’d told her he’d been on a boat, and now he wasn’t anymore. He didn’t talk much. Ben had eaten most of the stew and pastries, as if he hadn’t eaten for days. Rey figured he probably hadn’t, so she didn’t begrudge him that. But she knew she’d have to let him know to share better for the future. After they’d eaten, Rey took stock of his cut. It seemed much better already, but Rey cleaned it again and applied more salve and bandages anyway. 

As the fire dwindled down, Rey busied herself with her basket of mending. Scavenging took its toll on the few clothes she had, and she needed to keep them in good shape. Her stitches were large and awkward, those of a child, but they got the job done. Ben stared into the dying fire, far away with his thoughts.

As the fire grew dark and the air cold, Rey ducked behind a small cracked folding screen near the washroom and changed into her nightdress. Ben stood by the bunks and was waiting patiently for her to tell him which bunk was his. 

“I sleep in the middle,” Rey stated, matter of factly. Ben nodded and crawled into the bottom bunk, thumping and muttering awkwardly as he tried to find the best angle for his large frame.

Rey couldn’t get to sleep. Every crack of thunder had her on edge. Every howl of the wind set her teeth chattering. A particularly loud clap of thunder made her whimper.

“Rey?” she heard Ben ask quietly.

“What?” she replied tremulously, her blanket clutched around her head with one hand, Lottie held tight in the other.

“Do you maybe want to sleep down here with me?”

Instead of answering, Rey was down the ladder and under his blanket as quick as the lightning flashing outside. She curled into a ball, her small back pressed against his much larger one. She sighed, a warm feeling of safety washing over her. This was a new feeling for her, or at least, one she couldn’t remember feeling in a long time.

“Ben?” Rey whispered into the darkness.

“Hmm?” Ben replied sleepily.

“Will you stay? Here?”

There was a pause. “You wouldn’t like me all that much.”

Rey frowned. “I don’t believe that. You make me feel safe.”

“I’m not safe. Bad men will come to find me, Rey. I won’t repay your kindness with pain.”

“I’ll hide you. I’m good at finding and hiding things.”

“You won’t want me around. No one does. I’m not good for anything.” 

“I keep what no one wants. I find it, and I keep it. I fix it if it needs fixing. I found you, and I mean to keep you.” She was determined now to not let him go. She wouldn’t let him go out into the world believing that about himself.

Ben sighed. “One day. I’ll stay one day, then I’ll have to go. To keep you safe.”

He stayed ten years.


	4. Different

**Nags Head, Outer Banks, North Carolina 1878**

He had meant to leave. Everyday since he’d shared that first meal with Rey he’d meant to pick up and walk out that door and never look back.

However, the next day, when he had gone to leave, Rey had tugged on his arm, insisting he needed to go with her to meet someone named Maz.

“She needs some help with her house,” Rey had said. “Finn and me are too small.”

Ben had gone, if only as a way to repay Rey for her kindness. He had meant to leave after that.

But he didn’t.

He saw the way Rey was bullied by the more well off children of the town. How the well to do adults sneered at her as they walked down the street. How she tried to keep her chin up in spite of their cruel words and stares. The tears she’d cry when she thought he wasn’t looking.

He told Rey he’d decided to stay a little longer, but that he’d leave soon. 

But he didn’t.

The local blacksmith, Lorsan Tekka, had seen him walking with Rey one day. Actually, he’d been carrying Rey on his shoulders as she pointed out different things around town. He offered to take Ben on as an apprentice, saying he had the build for it. 

“Something around here always needs fixing,” Tekka had said.

Ben found something he was good at, besides hurting people, much to his surprise. Rey had beamed at him when he’d come home after his first day, covered in black grease and smiling.

Then Plutt, the closest thing Rey had to a guardian, had died when she was twelve and left his house to her. The vultures and wolves came sniffing, wanting to pick apart his holdings.

Ben stayed.

***

Rey’s eyes fluttered open, the morning sunlight pouring in through the cracks of the shutters. She sat up in her bed and gave her limbs a long stretch, a soft groan escaping her throat. She looked around in confusion for a moment before she remembered where she was. In the seven years she’d lived in Plutt’s (hers, hers now) house, she never got used to waking up in it. Despite the gloomy appearance of the public areas of Plutt’s home and his cantankerous personality, the private areas of the house were decorated quite beautifully. Twelve year old Rey had fallen in love with this room, particularly with the silvery blue silk on the walls, the warm dark wood of the floor and furnishings. It had made twelve year old Rey feel like a princess. If she was honest with herself, it still made her feel that way. 

Rey scrambled out of bed, throwing open the double doors to let the morning light flood the room. She inhaled deeply, taking in the soft scent of the sea. She could hear the waves crashing on the shore below her and the seabirds hooting and chirping. A warm breeze wrapped around her, her diaphanous night dress billowing around her as she braced herself on the railing. The outlines of ships danced on the horizon. She smiled broadly, her hazel eyes glittering. Today was her birthday, as it had been told to her by Plutt. She was nineteen today. 

She raced out of her room down the dark hall to the other end. She didn’t bother knocking on the closed door; she knew she had woken him up, but he’d pretend to still be asleep. Rey bit her lower lip as she opened the door as quietly as she could. His room was dark, almost pitch black, since Rey’s got the morning light. She tiptoed in, barely able to make out his large form on the bed in the middle of the room. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw he was on his back, one arm thrown over his eyes. His pale skin was almost glowing in the dark, the blankets pulled halfway up his broad chest. He made a very convincing sleeping person, but that didn’t stop Rey from running and leaping gracefully onto the bed, landing light as a feather over his waist.

“Wake up, Ben!” she cried cheerfully.

“Why are you so damn chipper in the morning?” Ben replied, growling. He hadn’t moved.

Rey laughed, the sound musical in the quiet room. “Why are you so damn grumpy?” she teased.

Ben lowered his arm, resting his hand gently on her hip, much as he had almost every morning for the last ten years, but somehow it felt different to Rey.

She beamed down at him, the small smile on his lips making her heart flutter a little. Rey had no idea what to make of the feeling, so she tried to ignore it. She shivered, wriggling on his waist a little. His other hand came up to her opposite hip, and she stilled. Her smile relaxed as she felt his fingers press slightly into her hips, his thumbs rubbing softly. Rey could feel the warmth of his fingertips through the thin fabric of her nightgown, and a strange wonderful feeling began to hum through her. Before she could make much of it, Ben’s eyes widened as if in alarm, and he dragged her off his waist, rolling out of bed without a word. 

He kept his back to her as he walked across the room to his dresser, and Rey watched him, confused. Things like this kept happening, more and more, making what had once been comfortable and normal strange and _different_. He was growing more distant, and Rey didn’t know how to bring him back. He was never a particularly loquacious person, but now he hardly said two words to her. What had worked in the past wasn’t working anymore. Every time she tried to comfort him, to hold him, he’d tense, his expression becoming unreadable. It was like he couldn’t bear to have her touch him anymore, and it hurt her, because touching him now felt _good_ to Rey in a way it never did before. Rey paled, wondering if he’d leave her now, after so long, the thought cutting through her like a knife.

“Ben?” she asked hesitantly, unable to keep the tremor of fear from her voice.

He closed the drawer he was rummaging in with a thump, looking over to where she was kneeling in the middle of his bed. His face was inscrutable in the darkness, and he approached her slowly. Reaching the edge of his bed, he looked down at her upturned face. He smiled a small _Ben_ smile, and Rey relaxed, crawling to the edge of the mattress so they were eye level, inches apart. He wrapped his arms around her gingerly, holding her close like he used to. Warmth suffused her blood, and Rey sighed, returning his embrace. Maybe she was imagining things.

“Happy birthday, Rey,” he murmured into her hair. 

Rey smiled, holding him tighter.

***

“Things are just so different now,” Rey said to the headstone. “I don’t know what to do.”

Rey was kneeling at a small gravesite, the skirt of her pale grey blue dress pooled around her. Her hands were clasped in her lap, holding a small posy of wildflowers and sea grasses. The air was still and calm for now, ambient buzzing the only sound. The sun was still shining, but storm clouds were gathered on the horizon. 

“Anyway, it helps to say these things out loud Mr. George and Miss Matilda. Thanks for listening,” Rey murmured as she set the posy at the base of the rectangle of stone. George and Matilda had died two years before Plutt. He had paid for a small gravestone and cemetary plot for them both, which Rey thought was incredibly kind of him. She clasped her hands together again, and bowed her head for a moment, saying a silent prayer. 

Rey turned in alarm at the sound of footsteps behind her. The rapid staccato of her heart did not slow when she saw Ben standing there, looking down at her with his warm brown eyes. A smile tugged at the corners of his plush mouth, and Rey licked her bottom lip unconsciously. The way his gaze flicked to her mouth then back to her eyes made her nervous, for some reason. Rey was flooded with awareness of him, and it made her feel very warm all over. 

“What are you doing here, Ben?” she stammered, looking away and fidgeting with her skirt. He usually worked until sundown, and it was only just after noon. 

“Tekka gave me the afternoon off, said I needed a break. I thought I might find you here,” he replied, his voice deep and lyrical. He held out his hand to help her up. Rey reached forward tentatively, afraid he might spook like a horse if she moved too quickly. He wrapped his fingers, rough and calloused, tightly around hers and hoisted her off the ground like she weighed no more than a sparrow. Years of working as a blacksmith and a steady diet had made him strong, and he no longer looked like a pup too small for its paws. He was a large man, and he dwarfed Rey even more than he used to, it seemed like. Her hand prickled with a strange feeling, and it was her who let go this time, flexing her fingers experimentally. Ben was staring at her with that intense look he sometimes got, like he was trying to memorize every detail.

Rey dusted bits of grass and dirt off her dress self-consciously. The pale grey blue complimented her coloring well, bringing out her freckles and making her chestnut hair, currently plaited in a simple braid and tied with a white ribbon, glow with warmth. The simple dress also complimented her slim figure, the bodice hugging her torso, fitted sleeves reaching to her elbows, and easing into a full skirt at her hips. It wasn’t the style, nothing about her was, but it suited Rey just fine. Rey wouldn’t call herself pretty, but she knew wasn’t too bad to look at. It frustrated her; she never cared how she looked before. As she fidgeted before him, Ben swallowed visibly, and his expression became inscrutable again. Rey sighed and walked beside him, lost in her thoughts. They kept returning to Ben’s hands. How they’d felt on her this morning. How that had made her feel - like every one of her nerves was singing.

“Ben…” she began hesitantly as they reached the edge of town. It was busy today. People milling about from shop to shop, a few horses trotting up and down the sandy streets. She snapped her mouth shut as a group of women passed them. They were dressed fashionably, holding parasols to block the sun. They hid their titters of laughter behind hands in lace gloves as they passed, their eyes changing from mocking to almost hungry, Rey thought, as they moved from her to Ben. Rey pressed her lips together firmly. Women were always looking at Ben like that, and it always upset her, but like everything else, it felt _different_ now. The thought of Ben with one of those women made her feel ill and achy instead of simply angry. Rey huffed, exhaling sharply as the women passed. She glanced at Ben; he was frowning. He raked a hand through his dark hair, mussing it. Rey’s fingers twitched; she knew how soft it was since she’d combed it countless times for him. But touching it, she knew would feel _different_ , and Ben didn’t let her touch it anymore anyway. 

“What is it, Rey?” Ben asked, his fingers brushing her hand gently. Accidently, she assumed. It seemed he hardly ever touched her on purpose anymore.

“Nothing. It’s nothing,” Rey mumbled, looking up at the darkening sky. She pulled her thin grey linen shawl around her tighter, shivering at the thought of the oncoming storm.

Ben gave her a look that said he knew she was lying to him, but he didn’t press.

They were walking along Merchant’s Row towards home when Ben said, almost so quietly Rey didn’t hear, “It bothers me, you know.”

“What does?” Rey asked.

“When people look at you like that,” Ben said gravely.

“Oh,” Rey murmured. “It’s fine.” It was, truly. Rey was used to it.

“No, it’s not,” Ben replied adamantly, taking her arm in his firm grip, his thumb rubbing at the edge of her sleeve. “They act like they’re better than you, and it’s not true,” he added softly.

Rey bit her lip and nodded, not knowing what to say. Ben’s eyes flicked to her mouth again, and she looked away, feeling a blush creep over her cheeks.

“You looked angry, and I thought you should know,” Ben said, letting go of her arm and turning the intensity of his gaze elsewhere.

“Oh, I wasn’t angry about that,” Rey mumbled.

Rey was about to elaborate when a drunk stumbled out of a nearby tavern. They had reached the rougher part of town, the storefronts older, darker, more weathered. The unkempt man bumbled into Rey and Ben, causing them both to leap aside lest he knock them over.

“Oi!” Rey called out. “Watch it!”

“Sorry there, pretty lass! Didn’t mean you no ‘arm,” the man slurred, weaving as he tried to look at her and Ben properly. His clothes were ratty and dirty, and he reeked of rum. Rey gave a sniff, and she could smell something else, but she couldn’t place it. Sulphur maybe? His face was tan and the skin weathered and blistered by the sun. Despite his antics, his eyes were clear and focused, Rey noticed. 

“Be on your way then,” Ben growled as he took Rey by the arm again, pulling her away from the increasingly friendly drunk.

The man gave a mock bow, watching them as they walked away.

Something bothered Rey, and she couldn’t place it until they reached the dune trail that led home. “Did he look familiar to you?” Rey asked as they walked quickly along the path, the wind having picked up speed.

“No,” Ben replied. “Why? Do you know him?”

“That’s just it, no. I’ve lived here my whole life. You see the same people come and go, know when one group of sailors or merchants will be coming into town, when they’ll leave. Get to know them. I’ve never seen that man before.” Rey chewed her lip. The man made her uneasy. His behavior screamed drunk, but his eyes didn’t. They were cold, calculating. Sober.

Ben hummed thoughtfully as they climbed the stairs, the rain finally starting to come down. 

***

_She was a little girl again, nine years old. She came home crying and was trying to tend to a scrape on her arm. Some boys in town had pushed her down, teasing her and saying hurtful things. Things she’d heard most of her young life, that she was an orphan, things about Plutt, and the like. That didn’t make it hurt any less, though. Ben had come home and immediately flown into a tirade, cursing, threatening, and pacing. It only made Rey cry harder. His words were angry and frightening to her._

_Ben stopped instantly, rushing to her and folding her into his arms, rocking her back and forth._

_“Shh shh, don’t cry, Rey. I’m sorry I got so angry. Shh please don’t cry,” he had cooed to her._

_“You’re scary like that, Ben. You scare me,” she whimpered._

_Ben held her tighter, stroking her hair. “I’m sorry, Rey. I told you you wouldn’t like me all that much,” he murmured._

_Rey pushed him away, frowning up at him. “But you don’t have to be like that. You don’t need to say those things.”_

_“That’s who I am, Rey,” Ben said, trying to be patient with a sobbing nine year old._

_“No it’s not!” Rey cried angrily. “I know it!”_

_“Rey…”_

_“You’re better than that! You’re good! Someone made you that way!”_

_Ben froze and staggered back._

_“I hear you talk in your sleep, Ben. I hear you crying,” Rey said wiping her eyes. “They tried to take your niceness away. Don’t let them,” she implored._

The dream grew fuzzy, the shapes and sounds indistinct. A loud crack and a bright flash caused Rey to startle awake with a sharp cry. It was storming violently.

She had hoped it wouldn’t. Until now, it had only been raining. She and Ben had spent the rest of the day in relative silence, Ben reading a book on metal working and Rey working on an old Cuckoo clock Maz had given her. Rey was fascinated by all the gears and springs and had taken the thing apart and was working on putting it back together. The sound of the heavy rain lulled them into a perpetual state of drowsiness until they both were falling asleep where they sat. Ben had given in first and shuffled off upstairs to his room. Rey followed not long after.

Another flash and crack. Rey shrieked and jumped out of bed, running out of her room and down the hall. The storm was directly over them, flashes and roars of thunder unceasing. She opened Ben’s door and ran quietly to the edge of the bed, trying to shake him awake.

“Ben! Ben!” she whispered urgently. Another ferocious roar shook the house and she whimpered. She hated storms.

Ben muttered sleepily and grabbed her hand, tugging her into bed. Sleeping Ben had no qualms about touching her. Rey crawled under the covers and rolled onto her side, pressing her back against his like she always did. She grabbed handfuls of the blanket and brought it up to her chin, shutting her eyes tightly, trying in vain to keep from shaking. She tried to count the seconds between each flash of lightning and crack of thunder, but there were none. The storm was going to stay overhead awhile, it seemed. 

Rey’s eyes shot open as she felt Ben roll over, one of his arms wrapping around her middle and pulling her closer to him, holding her tight. She swallowed thickly, letting her own arm drift down and rest lightly over his, her fingers featherlight over his wrist. She felt his face buried in the mess of her hair, his breath hot on her scalp. He was so warm against her, it was almost as if she was melting into him. It was calming, and she stopped shaking. Ben was snoring softly, still asleep. Rey stroked his wrist gently, her breathing slowing until, eventually, her eyes began to drift closed. 

She was about to fall asleep when she felt Ben’s long fingers splayed wide across her midriff. Warmth pooled low in her stomach as his hand slid to her hip, pulling her harder against him as his mouth travelled from her hairline to a sensitive place on her neck. Her breath hitched at the hardness pressed against the small of her back. Sleeping Ben _really_ had no qualms about touching her.


	5. Deserve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 8/21/2018: Guess who's back, my lovelies!  
> Instead of making this it's own chapter, I added it here, since that was the original plan anyway :)  
> I think when I deleted this chapter and re-added it, that got rid of the sweet comments y'all left, so just know that I love you all and appreciate your support with all my heart!  
> ____
> 
> July 2018: Ok my dah-lings (my spirit animal is Zsa Zsa Gabor), real talk. I rewrote and rethought this little bit maybe five or six times. I've hit a bit of a wall with this piece, so I need to put it in the corner to think some. I am not the most patient of people by nature, but I really want to do right by these characters and this story. So here's a little something to tide you over whilst I ponder this fic and my life choices, lol :O)

**Nags Head, Outer Banks, North Carolina 1878**

Ben was having a really good dream. He was holding Rey during a thunderstorm and she was gently stroking his wrist. The touch was innocuous enough, but as it always did now when she touched him, the sensation shot straight to his groin, his blood heating and thrumming through his veins. Ben had no idea when his feelings for Rey had changed, but somewhere along the line, they did. Now, he could hardly stand to have her look at him with those beautiful hazel eyes of hers because everything about her made him fall deeper and deeper in love with her.

In his waking hours, Ben tried to never allow himself these feelings. Rey was too good, too kind, too pure to be tainted by someone like him. She deserved no less than a prince, someone who could give her the world, the stars, the very cosmos. That might have been him once, but that life was taken from him a long time ago. Now, he was a monster who had done monstrous things, even if he’d spent the last ten years hiding from his past. The world would never forgive him for what he’d done, and Rey would hate him. That was no less than what he deserved of course, but he was going to selfishly hang on to Rey and the respite he’d found here as long as he could. He was a monster, after all.

But in his dreams, he always let go. He was helpless to deny himself, to deny her. His dream this time felt so much different, so much more real. He mouthed along the back of her neck until he found a spot that made her shiver, pressing hot open mouthed kisses against the sensitive skin. She smelled like flowers and the sea, and it was beautiful. He splayed his fingers wide across her midriff, revelling in the feel of her warm skin beneath the thin fabric of her nightgown. He dragged his hand to her hip, digging his fingers in hard and pulling her tighter against him. He needed her to feel how much he wanted her, how much he craved her. He thrust against her and her back arched, and the feeling of her pressing against his hard cock was exquisite. His hand slid up to palm at her breast, his fingers kneading the soft flesh. Rey moaned his name and it was one of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard. Her fingers twisted themselves in his dark hair, holding him to her neck and shoulder. As if he’d ever let go.

His eyes snapped open. It was dark, so dark he couldn’t see, but Rey’s hand was in fisted in his hair, his hand was at her soft breast, and she was panting his name. He hadn’t been dreaming.

“Oh God, Rey!” he cried as he jumped out of bed away from her. His body screamed in protest, and his hands shook as he tugged on a pair of pants that he’d left on the floor. He couldn’t look at her. He heard the scratch of a match as she lit the lamp on his bedside table. 

“Ben, no, don’t leave. It’s alright,” Rey implored gently. Her voice was soothing, calm. Ben could tell from the tone of her voice that she was holding her arms out to him, and every cell in his body was crying out for him to obey, but he wouldn’t. He went to his dresser, bracing his hands on the scarred wooden surface. He hung his head, trying to will his breathing back to normal.

“No, it’s not, Rey. Please. Go,” he begged, his fingers pressing harder onto the wood.

He could hear the ruffle of fabric and the creak of the old wooden bed frame as she climbed off the bed, could hear her quiet footsteps approach. He tensed.

“Would it make you feel better if I said I wanted this too?” Rey asked softly, her cool fingers brushing his shoulder blade. He shivered.

It did and didn’t all at the same time. “You deserve better than this, Rey. Better than me,” he replied, his voice a low rumble. “Just...leave,” he commanded, shutting his eyes tight.

He heard her sharp intake of breath and her footfalls were heavy as she stalked towards his door. The angry steps stopped when she reached the threshold.

“Don’t you dare presume to tell me what I _deserve_ , Ben. The only thing that should matter is what we want,” Rey whispered angrily as she snapped the door shut behind her.

The more Ben tried to control his breathing, the rougher it became until it was coming out in angry huffs. In one violent motion, Ben swept everything off the top of his dresser, pieces of driftwood, candlesticks, various bits and bobs he and Rey had found together over the years, relishing the crashing and cracking of glass, metal, and wood. He finished dressing angrily, and stalked down the stairs and out of the house, not knowing where he was going until his feet led him to the edge of the sea. It was still raining, but the storm had died down considerably. The rain quickly soaked him through, plastering his hair to his face and neck, the wind trying to move him to and fro. Ben collapsed in a heap, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared out into the darkness, oblivious to the dying storm around him.

The waves lapped at his feet, as if they were trying to drag him back to the place he never wanted to be again. He dug his heels in deeper into the sand, subconsciously trying to anchor himself here to this place. To Rey. Was she right? He frowned at the darkness as he argued internally with himself.

_You’re a monster._

_I was. Once. A long time ago._

_You still are. No amount of time can change that._

Ben thought of his work at Tekka’s shop. Tekka’s wry smile when Ben finally figured out a tricky technique, or the first time he managed to not burn himself. The grateful look on a family’s face when he was able to repair a broken axle or a broken wagon hitch. Re’s proud face when he came home to her after a hard day, exhausted but happy. How he’d help her fix the broken things she found in the sand. Make them into something new. Something invariably better than what they had been. He looked towards the house, able to just make out the faint light in Rey’s room.

 _Yes it can._

***

Rey paced around her room angrily, arms crossed over her chest. She rubbed her arms furiously, trying to chase the tremors of want away, but to no avail. The place between her thighs had grown disconcertingly wet while she was in Ben’s bed, and she squirmed uncomfortably as she paced back and forth, her thoughts flitting this way and that. 

He had wanted her. Rey didn’t know much, but she knew that. She could still feel where his hands had been on her body, how hot and stiff he’d been against her back. She felt herself blush at the thought, her fingers lightly touching where his soft lips had been at her neck. The skin there felt tender, and looking in her small mirror, Rey saw Ben had left a faint bruise. Her lips parted slightly at the memory, her breath hitching. 

Rey shivered as a draft licked at her ankles and up her calves, fluttering the hem of her nightdress. She whirled around, unsurprised to see Ben standing in her doorway, or rather, leaning against it, watching her. She found herself unable to meet his gaze, and instead watched her fingers scratch at an old stain on her dresser. He seemed larger than normal, with his arms crossed and his head tilted slightly, watching her as she fidgeted. His hair and clothes were soaked. He must have stormed out after her and gone outside. Rey felt herself burning under his scrutiny. 

Just as Rey was about to scream to break the silence, Ben spoke, his voice hushed, “You were right.”

Rey looked up, shocked. Her heart flipped in her chest. She stared at him, wide eyed, almost unbelieving. 

Ben pushed off the doorway and approached her slowly. “But, there’s...things about me, about my past, that you need to know…that I have to tell you.”

Rey held up her hand to silence him, and she turned and rummaged in a drawer for a clean towel. “All that matters is who you choose to be now,” she murmured, pulling out the rough linen cloth. “But since it’s important to you,” she continued, “You should know, I figured it out a long time ago. That you used to be Kylo Ren.”

“What?” Ben breathed as she approached.

Rey unfolded the towel and reached up and began to gently dry Ben’s hair. Ben bent his head down obligingly. She kept her gaze averted as she worked, speaking softly, “It took a couple of years to put the pieces together, you washing up on the beach, hearing that the dreaded Captain Snoke and the First Order crew were skulking around looking for the mysterious Kylo Ren. You didn’t seem to fit the description of a pirate demon to me, but you’d talk in your sleep, Ben.” Finishing her work on his hair, Rey pulled the towel back and signalled for him to remove his shirt. Ben pulled the garment over his head, tossing it to the side where it landed with a wet thud. Rey swallowed thickly, trying to remain unaffected by the sight of Ben shirtless and failing remarkably. She wrapped the towel around his shoulders and stepped back, crossing her arms protectively over her chest, suddenly very aware of how little she was wearing. “Eventually, my child’s mind managed to put it together. I didn’t care then, and I don’t care now. You’re my Ben. You don’t have to tell me about Kylo Ren right this minute if you don’t want to. You don’t need to tell me at all, if you’d rather not. I know how it must hurt you to think about, to remember. So just know that I know,” she finished quietly as Ben tossed the towel by his shirt.

“And I…,” Rey hesitated, finally looking up into Ben’s soft brown eyes, “I love you all the same.”

Rey began to fidget again as Ben remained quiet, his expression unreadable as always. Worrying her lower lip with her teeth, she winced when a flash of lightning streaked through the closed shutters. In that half second, Ben had closed the distance between them, gently cupping Rey’s face in his hands. Rey inhaled sharply in surprise, her own hands resting lightly on his chest. His thumbs brushed the crests of her cheeks as he brought his lips to hers, kissing her softly.

Rey shouldn’t have been surprised at how soft Ben’s lips were, but she was. Everything about him was softer than people assumed. Rey stood on her toes to press closer, her hands sliding up and into his now damp hair. Ben hummed his pleasure as he deepened their kiss, growing more insistent as his hands skimmed down her body to grasp at her hips. Rey gasped when she felt his tongue brush her lower lip, the sound quickly turning into a moan when Ben used the opportunity to slip inside her mouth. She responded with equal ardor, drawing a sound from deep in Ben’s throat that went straight to the place between her thighs.

Eventually, they broke the kiss, breath mingling in pants and gasps between them. Ben’s fingers tangled themselves in Rey’s sleep tousled hair, holding her close as his eyelids fluttered closed.

“Your hands are cold,” Rey whispered breathlessly against his lips. “Will you stay with me?”

“Always,” he breathed as he captured her lips in another gentle kiss.


	6. Flutter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah-hem ;O)
> 
> *make sure you check out the addition to chapter 5. I added a bit at the end after Ben broods on the beach

**Nags Head, Outer Banks, North Carolina 1878**

_Rey stands on the pier, waiting for Ben to finish his business with Kaytoo, the owner of Hell Bar. Kaytoo is rude in a blunt way, and Ben is the only one who will deal with him. Even Tekka doesn’t enjoy talking with him, and Rey is pretty sure Tekka has an infinite amount of patience. The small waves make gentle lapping sounds on the shore, a soothing sound. Gulls caw overhead. Her face is upturned to the sun, letting its gentle rays warm her skin. Her skin will freckle more, but she doesn’t care. Ben likes her freckles. She’s sixteen now, and for some reason, Ben liking her freckles makes her giggly and giddy._

_Rey turns and frowns when she hears the raucous laughter behind her. She tenses when she sees the group of boys drawing closer. The sons of the town fathers. They’d be nothing up north in someplace like New York with the Morgans and Carnegies and Skywalkers and Organas, but here it’s different. Here they lord their supposed superiority over everyone. Especially people like Rey who are friends with people like Finn and Maz. People who come from nothing. So, she tenses her shoulders, turns her head back, and braces for their cruel words._

_“Well, well, what have we here? The little sea rat?” the largest boy, Franklin, sneered._

_The others laugh around him. “Not a rat anymore though, are you?” another boy, Ames, leers as he takes a step forward._

_Rey’s brave faces falters. They’re looking at her differently. It frightens her. She fists her hands in her skirts, willing herself to remain brave, to not show them she’s afraid._

_Another, Marcus, takes a step forward. “Yeah, Mother says you’re the blacksmith’s whore now. How much to get between those pretty legs, Whore?”_

_At that, Rey’s facade breaks and she screams and lunges at Marcus. She gets in a few good digs and scratches before Ames and Franklin have dragged her off._

_“Hold her down!” Marcus screamed. “You’ll pay for that, you bitch.” Rey’s eyes go wide as he approaches her, his steps predatory. She screams and hollers, thrashes and twists to fight against the strong arms holding her down._

_All of the sudden, Marcus is gone. She hears his shouts recede until there’s a mighty splash in the water below. Rey stops fighting as Ames and Franklin let her go, standing up to defend themselves against the massive dark form that has appeared on the pier. In a flurry of movement, both boys are on their backs, noses bloodied and eyes blackened, whimpering with pain. The form is standing in front of Rey, still on the ground, protecting her. Rey turns abruptly when she feels hands on her, and she smiles when she sees Finn’s kind face beside her, looking down with concern on his brow. She realizes the form in front of her is Ben._

_“I ran into Ben outside Kaytoo’s, and we heard the commotion. I came to help, but it looks like he has things well in hand,” Finn said as the boys ran from the pier, his expression one of pure loathing. He helped Rey up, steadying her as she tried to find her footing. “Are you okay?” he asked, worry written on his face._

_“Yeah, I think so,” Rey mumbled. She was far from okay, and she knew Finn knew it, but he wouldn’t press. This wasn’t the place._

_“Uh-huh. Need me to walk with you guys back to the house? They won’t keep quiet about that, you know,” he asked as Ben turned around to look at them both. Fire burned in his eyes, and rage twisted his features. Rey shuddered, imagining this is what he must have looked like when he was Kylo Ren. Finn paled._

_Rey looked down, trying to hide the tears forming in her eyes. “No, I think we’ll be okay, Finn. Thank you,” she murmured as she squeezed his hand. Finn gave her one last look before he took off, looking at Ben over his shoulder._

_Ben stared at Rey, his expression gentle and concerned. He made no move, letting her decide what to do in her own time. She finally sniffled, and the tears began to fall. She ran to Ben, wrapping her arms around his middle, pressing close. He returned her embrace, his arms strong and sure around her. He rested his cheek on the top of her head, stroking her hair as she cried sad tears, angry tears. She started babbling, the whole story spilling out._

_“I could have beaten them if I was stronger,” Rey snarled against Ben’s shirt, gripping it tight. She was furious. He smelled like salt and soot, and she breathed deeply, letting his scent calm her._

_“You don’t need to be stronger. You’re already strong, and you’re agile, which is maybe more important. You need a teacher,” Ben murmured into her hair. Rey looked up at him in confusion._

_Ben pulled back and took her hand in his. “Let’s go.” She went willingly._

_And so, Ben taught her to defend herself. Rey found she was really good with a staff and often walked with one when she was alone. Sometimes she would see Ben watching her from the house as she practiced down on the beach by herself. No one bothered her after that._

***

Rey’s eyelids fluttered open. It was pitch black around her, the dead of night still. She was surrounded by him, by Ben. His hand was warm and heavy where it rested on her hip, his breathing was slow and deep, coming in faint puffs against her forehead. Rey drew her knees up and rested them on his thighs, shivering at the sensation of his skin against hers. She debated about whether to adjust her nightdress or not, since it had bunched up around her hips and thighs, but decided against it, not wanting to wake Ben. Rey grinned broadly and hid her face in her pillow.

He had stayed with her. She had pulled him to her bed, and he had stayed. After she’d blown out the lamp, he’d shucked his pants and crawled in beside her, pulling her close. They’d fallen asleep quickly, wind and rain their lullaby. Rey blushed, remembering he was naked. In bed. With her. She wriggled, suddenly nervous. She grew very very warm and wriggled some more.

Ben made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a deep inhale. Rey stilled, realizing she’d woken him. She could feel his eyes on her even though she could barely see. A small noise left her when the hand at her hip gripped a handful of fabric, dragging the thin skirt of her nightdress further up her hips. She shivered again and bit her thumb when featherlight fingers began stroking up and down the skin of her thigh. The wonderfully strange feeling began blooming low in her belly again. 

“Put your hands on me, Rey,” Ben rasped. “Please.”

Rey released her thumb from her teeth and placed on of her hands beneath Ben’s cheek. He nuzzled into her palm, pressing a kiss there. His skin was rough, and Rey bit her lip imagining how it would feel against her neck. She placed her other hand against his chest, smoothing it over the broad expanse of skin and muscle. Reaching up, Rey began to play with the hair at the nape of his neck, causing Ben to hum low in his throat. She responded with a hum of her own when Ben began to kiss the delicate skin of her collarbone. Her hums of pleasure turned into soft moans when he travelled further up and began to lavish attention on the place between her neck and shoulder. He began to palm at her breast much like he’d done before, alternating between rough kneading and gentle caresses. She felt her nipple harden beneath his touch, and Rey bit down on her lip hard. A strangled high pitched sound slipped out from between her teeth when he took the hard bud into his mouth, licking and sucking and nipping through the thin fabric, holding her ribcage gingerly between his hands. Both her hands were in his hair now, tugging hard and holding tight. 

“Don’t fight it, Rey. Let me hear you,” Ben whispered against her heated skin.

Rey released her lip from her teeth and began to whimper and moan in earnest.

“Good,” Ben purred as his hands skimmed her body over her nightdress as his mouth continued its ministrations. 

“I want you hands on me, Ben,” Rey moaned, desperate for the feeling of his callused hands against her skin.

Rey felt a tug at the ties of her nightdress beneath her chest, and the offending garment loosened around her. He’d untied it. Lifting herself off the bed, Rey pulled it over her head and tossed it aside. Ben’s arms guided her back to him, and Rey hummed deep in pleasure at the sensation of finally having his hands on her bare skin. Ben finally kissed her then, taking her mouth with a passion almost rough. She was so overwhelmed at the feelings and want coursing through her that she barely noticed where Ben’s hand was until she felt his fingers high on her inner thigh, causing her to jump a little in surprise.

He stopped kissing her then, seeming to realize she was overwhelmed. Their breathing was charged and erratic, and Rey forced herself to try and calm down, resting her forehead against Ben’s. The movements of Ben’s fingers slowed, but he kept them where they were. Rey pressed closer to him, and Ben wrapped his free arm around her obligingly, holding her tight as his hand continued exploring. 

Rey let out a small noise when his fingers brushed lightly along her now very slick seam. Ben kissed her sweetly, murmuring reassurances against her parted lips. Moans and pleading sounds fell from Rey’s lips as Ben’s stroking grew firmer and more deliberate, and she cried out everytime his fingers brushed a particularly sensitive spot. Rey found it disconcerting how wet this was making her, but Ben didn’t seem to mind. In fact, it really really seemed to please him.

“Ben?” she asked breathlessly.

“Hmm?” Ben hummed against the thin skin of her neck as he continued stroking her.

“I...does it…,” Rey had no idea what she was trying to say. She squirmed.

Ben stopped. “What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?”

“No! It’s just…,” Rey bit her lip and whispered, slightly ashamed, “I’m really wet.”

Ben hummed his agreement. “Yes, you are. That’s good.” His fingers began stroking her again, and this time he pressed his thumb deliberately into that wonderfully sensitive spot and swirled it, making her drop her head back and moan loudly. “And it’s all for me,” he growled as he bit gently into her neck.

When Rey began panting his name, begging him for something she had no words for, Ben pressed one of his fingers gently into her, then another, causing her to cry out sharply. She felt him stretching her, feeling inside her, and she keened when his fingers brushed one spot in particular. He lavished attention there while his plush mouth pressed open mouthed kisses on her neck, causing a tension to build and build inside her until she began bucking her hips against his hand, her back arching wildly, until the tension seemed to spill over and wash over her. Rey cried out his name and felt herself slowly falling back to earth, down to him.

Ben let her breathing slow, kissing her shoulder gently before he took her hand in his much larger one, leading her to where he was hot and hard for her. She curled her fingers in hesitation, unsure of how to touch him.

“Please, touch me, Rey,” he begged, his breath coming in uneven pants against her lips.

“How do you want me to touch you?” Rey asked quietly, softly kissing his lower lip.

“Any way. I don’t care. Just...please,” he groaned as he released her hand. 

Rey bit her lip and began to stroke him shyly, enjoying the way her touch, simple as it was, seemed to completely unravel him. She marvelled at the feel of him, nothing like she imagined. The skin was silky and hot, but the flesh beneath was very hard. It was his turn to cry out when she wrapped her hand around his stiff length and began to pump up and down, gently at first, then harder and faster when he began thrusting into her hand and begged her to.

All at once, with a loud groan, Ben grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away from him and pushed Rey onto her back. 

“Wrap your legs around my waist,” he commanded in a gravelly voice. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Rey asked, stroking his cheek with her fingers. 

“God no. You touch me too well,” he rasped. Leaning down, he nipped and kissed the fragile shell of her ear and whispered, “And that’s not how I want to finish.”

Rey smiled at his praise and did as he bid. With a slowness that almost drove her to madness, Ben began to push into her. Rey winced, her flesh unyielding. Sensing her discomfort, Ben murmured sweet words, love words into her ear as he reached between them and began to stroke and rub her clit again. Rey felt herself finally let go, her flesh stretching to accommodate him, the burning sensation subsiding into something more pleasant. It wasn’t long before they were moaning and panting each others’ names, their rhythm going from slow and sweet to desperate and hard. The intimacy of it brought Rey close to tears, and sh knew Ben felt the same. When they came, they came together, their voices crying out in unison in the velvet dark.


	7. Found

**Nags Head, Outer Banks, North Carolina 1878**

The dinghy made its way slowly through the water, cutting an uneven ‘V’ in the ocean’s surface. The waves were choppy, rough, and it made for difficult going, tossing the small craft this way and that. The storm had subsided, but it would be back. The lone man rowed on, determined to get to the dark ship just ahead. His dark coat and hat obscured most of his features, but a mess of frazzled dirty hair stuck out around his neck, a match for his dirty and weathered tan skin. His hands were rough and coarse from years of working on a ship, but not just any ship.

He smiled a wicked crooked smile, revealed yellowed and uneven teeth. His sober sharp eyes almost shined with a dark malice. His captain would love to hear what he had to tell him. 

He had found Kylo Ren. And he wasn’t alone.

***

Ben struggled to open his eyes, blinking several times before they finally consented to stay open. The morning light was trying valiantly to illuminate Rey’s room, but the shutters kept most of it out, resulting in a kind of warm dim. Ben smiled, his body suffusing with warmth as he looked at Rey, sleeping peacefully on her side beside him. Her face was relaxed, her breathing slow and deep and quiet. Her hand was curled gently beside her face, freckles dancing across her knuckles, nose, and cheeks. Ben softly brushed a lock of hair away from her face, causing only a momentary stir and a sigh. Unable to help himself, he reached out and caressed her lips, kiss roughened to a deep pink, as soft as he could. His blood started rushing faster, and he felt himself growing aroused and hard at the thought of kissing her again. He stroked her cheek, relishing the feel of her soft skin beneath his fingers. Rey smiled and sighed contentedly, her eyelids fluttering open, her hazel eyes bright. She grasped his fingers in her own, bringing them back to her lips, and she pressed a soft kiss to his fingertips.

“You’re not grumpy this morning,” Rey murmured against his fingers.

Ben gave a small laugh. “No,” he said, his voice low and gravelly with arousal. “Very much no,” he growled as she released him and reached out to skim her own slender fingers down his front. He fell onto his back with a groan when she began to stroke his erection teasingly. Her strokes were delicate, driving him wild, and he found himself thrusting upward, desperate for more. 

“Oh God. Rey, please,” he hissed through his teeth. He’d dreamt of this for so long, he almost couldn’t bear her teasing. He was a hair’s breadth away from shoving her on her back and ramming his cock into her, taking her roughly like an animal. But he wouldn’t, not when she was probably still sore, her flesh still tender. Yet.

Rey leaned toward him, licking the shell of his ear with the tip of her tongue as she finally wrapped her hand firmly but gently around his cock, and eliciting a strangled moan from his lips. She seemed to really enjoy teasing him. “What, Ben?”

He was panting now, desperate. He grabbed her hips roughly and pulled her on top of him. She let him go and braced herself on his broad chest, looking down at him with lust in her eyes. 

“I need you. To be inside you. Please,” he begged. Rey nodded, leaning forward and kissing his lips softly, lovingly.

Ben’s lips parted as she pulled away, in awe at how beautiful she was, especially now when she was naked and straddling him. He ran his hands greedily up and down her sides, squeezing her hips with each pass and using his hands to start her moving against his throbbing length. Her head fell back, gasps and pants falling from her perfect mouth. She was already wet for him, Ben noticed, as she took her pleasure.

“So perfect,” he murmured, watching her. He reached up and stroked her breast, pinching and rolling the dusky flesh of her nipple between his fingers, making her moan, the sound coming out low and desperate, much like his had been earlier. She lifted herself a bit further off his hips, and Ben took the cue, guiding himself to her wet entrance. Looking down into his own lust clouded eyes, she sunk herself slowly onto him, sheathing him fully inside her. They both threw back their heads and moaned at the sensation, each drunk on the pleasure they gave and took from each other, denied for so long.

And then Rey began to move, and Ben’s vision almost blacked out. Each roll of her hips had him thrusting up into her desperately, their twin cries echoing softly in the room around them. Ben was so close, and he reached his other hand forward, parting Rey’s slick folds and rubbing her clit as best he could.

“Ben! God, yes!” she screamed as she arched back, her pace now almost punishing as he pushed her closer and closer to the edge.

“That’s it. Come on my cock, Rey. I want to feel you come around me,” he cried, his voice raspy and pleading. 

With a final shout of his name, Ben felt her walls clench and tremble around him, the grip and slight pull drawing his own climax from him with a cry of his own as he felt his spend release inside her.

Rey fell forward onto his chest with a slight whimper, nuzzling into his neck and sighing in pleasure. Ben wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, pressing a kiss to her cheek, one hand stroking her hair. She was murmuring something.

“Hmm?” Ben hummed sleepily.

“You’re mine now,” Rey whispered, pressing closer to him, her grip on his shoulders tighter.

“I always was, Love,” he replied, his heart leaping at her words.

***

Rey pinned the last lock of hair into place, finally finishing getting ready for the day. Ben had gone to the smithy already, helping her dress and kissing her deeply before he left. Rey blushed and bit her lip, remembering the morning. After they’d dragged themselves from her bed, Ben had helped her wash the fluid and dried blood from between her thighs.

Seeing the blood, Ben had looked away from her, upset. “I’m so sorry, Rey,” he’d murmured.

Rey had placed her fingers lightly under his chin, urging him to look at her. She rose on her toes and kissed him softly. “Don’t, Ben. Don’t you dare be sorry,” she had whispered to him, making him smile.

He’d also “helped” her with her simple dress, kissing her back over her chemise as he laced it up. Rey had to bite her knuckle to keep from moaning again as she felt a now familiar throb between her legs.

Her hair finished, Rey looked at herself in her full length mirror behind her folding screen. She held her hands to her burning cheeks as she saw the evidence of her and Ben’s lovemaking across her neck and the exposed skin of her shoulders. Her mouth too, held no secrets, the skin deeply pink and kiss roughened. Rey grabbed a shawl and pinned it around her shoulders, knowing that would at least help hide some marks from prying eyes. Rey certainly felt no shame in what they’d done, but she didn’t want people’s judging stares and harsh words to darken her mood today. After today, she’d bear the marks proudly, openly. 

She made her way down the big staircase, grabbing the satchel she kept by the door. She was going to help Maz and Finn today. The apothecary had ordered some herbal packets and tea from Maz, and she needed help filling the small bags. Maz’s fingers were getting too gnarled and swollen to do such delicate and exacting work, and she often turned to Finn and Rey for help.

Shutting the door behind her, Rey turned to glance around, taking in the sight of the dunes and the sea and the place she called home. As ever, clouds hung on the horizon, but the sky was blue now. Seabirds swooped and danced overhead, and dune grass blew in the breeze. Everything looked the same, but it seemed sharper, more _present_ now. Rey smiled as she looked around the covered wrap-around porch.

Her smile turned to a frown when she saw something that shouldn’t be. A dark form was huddled in the corner at the turn. Rey drew her knife from her bag and approached the form cautiously. Beach dogs often sought shelter on the house’s large porch, but this looked too large to be a dog. About five feet away, Rey called out angrily to the shape, urging it to move, to leave. There was no movement. Rey moved a foot closer, squinting to try and see what it was. It seemed to be a pile of dirty dark clothes. Scanning the shape, Rey’s eyes caught the glint of a blade, and she gave a cry and leapt back, turning to run. 

Before she could, something grabbed her painfully from behind, the smell of rum and sulphur strong. She tried to scream, but a cloth was shoved under her nose and over her mouth. It smelled sickly sweet, and Rey panicked, knowing the smell of chloroform. She tried to fight, but she felt her body growing sluggish and her eyes getting heavy. The last thing she saw before she slipped under was the pile of clothes rising up and pulling a letter from his coat. He used a small blade to affix it to the door, the blade’s ‘thunk’ dully resounding in Rey’s head before everything disappeared.


	8. Survival

The clang of metal on metal was loud in the shop. The smell of soot and the heat of the fire was strong. Ben was trying hard to stay focused on his work, since this was a dangerous job to lose focus in (sparks had already burned his arms four times today), but his mind kept wandering back to Rey. He was grateful when Lorsan came back and told him someone needed to see him.

“Who is it?” he asked, mildly curious as he plunged the piece he was working on into the water to cool. 

“Finn,” Lorsan replied. 

Ben raised a brow and dusted his hands on his apron, walking around the different tables and anvils towards the front of the shop. He saw Finn standing in front of the counter, his fists clenching and unclenching nervously. He was a nervous fellow by nature, but today he seemed particularly perturbed. Ben frowned. He thought he’d heard Rey mention they were both helping Maz fill a large order for the apothecary today. Finn turned to Ben, worry written all over his features.

“Finn?” Ben asked, now somewhat worried himself.

“Is Rey not feeling well?” At Ben’s expression, Finn hurriedly added, “She didn’t show up at Maz’s this morning. Maz and I thought she might have taken ill.”

The corner of Ben’s mouth quirked up in an amused smile, before he grew worried again. “No, she was feeling quite well this morning. She was getting ready to leave when I left.”

Finn chewed his lip and tugged at his fingers. “Would you mind checking? I have a bad feeling,” Finn muttered.

Ben was already untying his apron. “Of course. Come with me, if you want,” he replied, hanging the heavy leather garment on a peg. Finn often got bad feelings, unsurprising given how he’d been treated, and half the time they were right. The other half, they didn’t amount to much, but were always worth investigating. Ben knew tagging along would help ease the young man’s mind when he saw everything was alright. They’d probably run into Rey along the way, chatting with market vendors about one thing or another or helping somebody fix something small. She often stopped and helped shop owners with small repairs, so it wasn’t unusual for her to be late to Maz’s.

Ben and Finn walked in uneasy silence to the house. They’d never been very comfortable around each other. Ben got the feeling Finn was afraid of him, but he never broached the topic. 

As he saw the house looming in the distance, Ben picked up his pace. It looked dark, foreboding. A sinking feeling took over Ben’s stomach, and he broke into a run, Finn following close behind. He saw the dagger before he saw the letter, stopping dead in his tracks in front of the door. He knew that dagger, or rather, who preferred that style of dagger. Iryl Ren, a vicious man and very skilled at infiltration. Ben screamed, an unearthly angry sound, and punched one of the posts, not feeling the sharp pain that shot up his arm. 

Finn tore the note from the door, reading aloud, “‘Found you. Come get your wench.’ Ben, what does this mean?” he asked, panicked. The symbol of the First Order crew was scrawled as a signature.

“The First Order has Rey, and if I don’t go to them, they’ll kill her,” Ben snarled, disgusted with himself. He ran back down the steps. He knew Tekka had a small boat as well as a weapons cache from his time as a privateer. He needed to find out where he kept them.

“What?! What the hell are you talking about?! You don’t mean _The_ First Order?” Finn cried behind him.

“That’s exactly what I mean,” Ben spat.

“Ben! Stop!” Finn shouted. Finn’s tone of voice brokered no argument. Ben stopped and turned. Finn’s face was like stone, his expression angry and hostile.

Ben sighed. “I was Kylo Ren. A long time ago. They took me when I was a small boy, five I think. I was on my way to my uncle in Ireland when they attacked the ship I was on. I wish they had left me to drown. Ten years ago, I jumped ship and washed up here. Rey found me on the beach half dead. I owe her everything. I shouldn’t have stayed, Finn, I know that, trust me I do, but...I love her.”

When Finn didn’t say anything, Ben continued, “Do you know what it’s like to be unmade, Finn? To have someone rip you apart and put you back together wrong? To make you into their monster? I will spend the rest of my life atoning for what I’ve done, but I’ll be damned if I spend the time I have left being punished for it. Rey helped me see that, and she needs us now. As bad as I was, they’re the ones who made me that way. I won’t leave her to them, and I can’t do this alone.”

Finn’s expression had softened, but it was still guarded. “Believe it or not, I know a little something about doing what you have to in order to survive,” he said a bit sarcastically. Ben gave him an acknowledging sort of half smile. As bad as Ben had had it, he knew Finn’s past life was a thousand times worse. “To me, Rey represents everything that’s good about this godforsaken world. She’s my best friend, the closest thing to a sister I have left. Let’s go get her. With any luck, she’ll have either killed them or charmed them by the time we get there. You know somewhere we can get weapons?”

Ben had to laugh at that, and they both ran into town to find out where Tekka kept his boat and his stash of weapons.

***

As Rey came to, she felt a violent roiling in her stomach first. She rolled onto her side and heaved and wretched. Her mouth was dry, her throat sore. Her eyelids struggled to open, and when they did, her vision was blurred. As it cleared, she saw she was in a dark room. The wood was rough beneath her cheek, and she could feel her hands tied behind her back. Dark shapes slowly began to take form, and she realized she was in someone’s private quarters, on a ship judging by the slight rocking she felt. It was very cold in the room, and she shivered.

“So, you live,” a cold voice said to her left. Rey twisted around to see where the voice came from, but saw nothing at first. Slowly, a dark form rose from behind a desk and approached. 

Rey’s mouth dropped open, realizing she was looking at the same skeletal man she had seen in Plutt’s study ten years ago. She said nothing.

“I wondered if you’d recognize me,” the voice hissed. “You had to know you couldn’t hide him from me forever. A proper introduction is in order, I think. I am Captain Snoke.” He gave a mocking bow.

Rey spat at his feet.

“So charming,” Snoke sneered. As Rey twisted and fought against her bonds, Snoke said in a mock kindly voice, “Never fear. You won’t be our prisoner long.” The way he said it, with so much malice and horrible promise, made Rey still and her eyes widen in fear. 

As Snoke made his way out of his quarters, he turned to Rey again and said, “Don’t worry little wench, I expect dear Kylo will be here soon. It’ll be interesting to see what he chooses for you.” The lock clicked behind him, which was actually somewhat of a relief to Rey. At least no one else could get in.

Fear’s vice-like grip began to try and take a hold of Rey, but she refused to let it. She had no intention of finding out what Snoke meant, and while she was sure Ben was on his way, she did not feel like waiting around for him. God knew how long that would take. 

Twisting and arching on the floor of the cabin, Rey managed to swing her arms under her legs and bring them to her front. She chewed frantically at the rope, attempting to free her hands. It took several minutes and a cut lip and chin from the rough rope, but she finally managed to untie the knot. She tossed it aside and scrambled to her feet, having to brace herself momentarily to find her balance. Her head was still a little fuzzy from the chloroform, and the swaying of the ship did nothing to help. 

Quiet as a mouse, she looked around Snoke’s cabin for something resembling a weapon. There was a dagger plunged into a map over the scarred wood of his desk, and Rey managed to free it with some effort. Looking at the map, she saw x’s and other types of marks scattered around the islands of the Outer Banks and a few places further south. Dotted lines criss-crossed the Atlantic, representing shipping channels, Rey assumed. She saw the words ‘Falcon’ and ‘Raddus’ written in a few different places, but she didn’t have time to waste figuring out what those meant. She looked around silently for anything else and had to stifle a joyful yelp when she managed to find a solid harpoon type weapon under Snoke’s bed. Finding a few leather belts in a large trunk, Rey strapped the harpoon to her back and shoved the dagger between her waist and the belt. Stripping the linens from the meager mattress, Rey used the dagger and cut them into strips and knotted them together, fashioning a makeshift rope. 

Head clearer now, she rushed to the dark windows and opened the heavy wooden shutters. She pushed open one of the glass windows and stuck her head out, trying to get an idea of where she was and what she had to work with. She frowned. The pirates would be on the lookout for Ben, and would surely notice a lifecraft making its way back towards land. She couldn’t swim back. She didn’t know how, and the ocean was too violent anyway. She’d drown before she’d gotten too far. And what about Ben? What if he arrived and she wasn’t here? She wouldn’t leave him to these monsters. No, she needed to stay. Needed to fight. She could find somewhere to hide. Throw the rope out the window to make it look like she’d left. Use the element of surprise to take out one or two when they came to get her.

Rey took a deep steadying breath. “You can do this,” she murmured to herself as she pulled the shutters closed, the faint ships on the horizon going unnoticed, and throwing herself into darkness once more.


	9. High Seas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you had asked me a year ago if I thought I'd be writing fan fiction, much less fan fiction with a sea battle, I'd have given you a very confused look
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING* threats of rape/non-con; graphic (I guess) depictions of violence

**Atlantic Ocean, just off the coast of the Outer Banks, North Carolina 1878**

Ben paddled furiously toward the dark ship just ahead, his face set in an expression of stone-like determination. 

“Why do I have to be under all this shit?” Finn grumbled from beneath a woolen blanket and piles of rope.

“Because they’re going to see us coming. They’ve probably already spotted the boat, so hush. It’ll look suspicious if they see me talking to myself,” Ben hissed back, trying not to move his mouth too much in case they were watching him through a spyglass.

Finn harrumphed in agreement. Ben heard a metallic click indicating Finn was checking his revolver ammunition again. Ben tried not to reach for the one he had beneath his shirt at his back. He had another in a holster at his waist and a sword on his other side. Tekka had demanded to know why Finn and Ben needed his guns and blades, much less his boat. Finn had blurted it all out in a rush, and Ben had panicked, thinking Tekka was going to have him arrested, or hell, just shoot him on the spot, but Tekka had only opened a trap door in the floor of the shop and pointed down.

“Take whatever you need. Get that girl Rey back. Kill the bastards. I expect you back here in a couple days,” he said, his voice muffled and sagely. 

Ben felt dread settle over him like a blanket. He’d been so foolish to think he’d never be found. The past ten years felt like something out of a dream, and now he had woken up back in his nightmare. He rowed resolutely on, determined to face down his demons once and for all. 

“So, what’s the plan again?” Finn whispered.

Ben frowned at the blanket and muttered under his breath, “Get to the ship. They’ll lower a ladder rather than raise the boat. I climb up, and you stay put until I’m on deck. Then, you crawl out and onto the hull and find a good vantage point. Wait for an opportune moment; odds are Snoke has something horrible planned, and there’ll probably be a moment when he and the crew are occupied with me. Get Rey out of there, away from the ship.”

“What about you?”

“Leave me. I’m taking that ship of horrors down or I’m going to die trying.”

Finn said nothing, which Ben took as agreement until he murmured, “Rey’s not going to let that happen.”

“Drag her off that ship if you have to. She might hate you for awhile, but she’ll be safe. That’s all that matters.”

Again Finn said nothing.

***

Rey tried to keep her breathing even as she waited off to the side of the door, ready to jump whoever opened it. She clutched the dagger in her hands, focusing on the deadly blade, the steel glinting even in the darkness of the room. It was actually beautiful, in a macabre sort of way. The blade was long and slender with a mother of pearl handle and a silver tang engraved with scrollwork. She wondered who Snoke had killed to get it. 

She heard commotion on deck, the voices too muffled to make out what they were saying, but it sounded like someone was approaching the ship. Ben. Rey tensed, knowing they’d be coming for her soon. She’d already set up her trap, as it were. She opened one of the windows and tied her rope to one of the posts that supported the cabin throwing the slack out the window. With any luck, they’d come in to investigate, and that’s when she’d make her move.

Sure enough, she heard a key turn in the lock and the knob began to turn. Rey held her breath, keeping absolutely quiet and still, dagger clutched tight.

The door creaked open and a grimy slurred voice called out, “Time to go, Girlie Girl.”

Rey pressed her lips tight together as the door opened wider and a disheveled man strode in. He smelled strongly of drink and filth, and Rey stifled a gagging sound. The man closed the door behind him.

“Shit!” he exclaimed as he ran to the window.

Rey smirked and ran, her feet swift and silent. She leapt at the man’s back, one arm coming around to cover his mouth and the other raising the dagger high before bringing it down quickly into the back of the man’s neck. It made a sick, wet sound as it sank easily into the man’s flesh. The man sputtered against her hand, but otherwise made no sound as he breathed his last and Rey lowered him quietly to the floor. She stood back and yanked the dagger out, gagging openly at the sound it made as it unsheathed itself from the pirate’s neck. She watched as the man’s blood pooled around his head, a pillow of angry crimson against the wood.

Shaking herself, she turned back to the door. No one had followed him in. She crept to it and pressed her ear to the scarred surface. She could still hear noise on the deck, but it was quieter now. She risked cracking the door open an inch. She saw no one immediately in the area directly in front of the cabin. She tried to look off to either side, in case someone was waiting there like she had, but saw nothing. The door for Snoke’s cabin was facing the deck head on, and Rey guessed there wouldn’t be anywhere she could get to to hide without being spotted first. She looked over her shoulder at the open window above where the dead man lay. She might be able to get somewhere that way. She dashed over and started to crawl out of the window and onto the hull of the ship.

The wind was strong and biting as she clung desperately to the wooden planks. Frozen by fear for only a moment, she made her way along the outside of the ship slowly. She cursed as her foot slipped, but she quickly regained her footing. She was just out of sight of the window when she heard loud cursing and crashing coming from Snoke’s quarters. 

“Fucking bitch killed Nico!” 

“Did she fucking jump?!”

“Can’t’ve! We’d’ve heard it!”

“Captain! She’s gone!”

“Search the ship!” she heard Snoke roar. Rey began to hurry. She needed a place to hide now. She made her way onto the broad side of the ship and began to climb cautiously upwards. She peeked between the railing and saw a large coil of rope just to her side on the deck. It was large enough for her to hide in. Confident she hadn’t been spotted, she clambered over the railing, keeping low as she headed for the rope. As she was about to hop in, she felt arms wrap around her from behind. 

Thrashing and flailing, she heard an English voice hiss in her ear, “And where do you think you’re going?” 

Rey turned, looking into the face of the red-headed man currently holding her. His eyes were pale blue and cruel, his features twisted with hatred and malice. 

As she was divested of her weapons, the man called out, “I have her, Captain.”

Simultaneously, a voice called out from the crow’s nest, “He’s climbing up, Captain!”

As Snoke practically floated down from the helm, a vicious joy on his face, Rey truly began to tremble with fear.

***

Ben hoisted himself over the railing and immediately went cold. The deck of the Supremacy, flagship of the First Order, hadn’t changed at all since he’d jumped ship when he was nineteen. Dirty, hateful faces leered at him from all across the deck, positioned strategically in case he decided to make a break for it. He felt an involuntary twitch in his brow as his eyes passed the mast, to which he’d been tied and lashed so many times in the past. Not wanting to give the crew any indication that he was afraid, Ben schooled his expression into one of cold neutrality, his mouth set in a grim line.

He clenched his jaw as Snoke approached from inside his cabin, hands clasped behind his back.

“Kylo Ren,” Snoke said, his voice suspiciously amiable. “Welcome home.”

“Where’s Rey?” Ben hissed. There was no point in pretending that she wasn’t the reason he was here. 

Snoke smiled wickedly, raised his hand and flicked two fingers forward. Ben snarled as Hux, Snoke’s first mate now if his hat was any indication, dragged her forward. She looked angry, and Ben felt a flicker of pride. She hadn’t made things easy for them, and she appeared relatively unharmed, in spite of her bound hands and the gag in her mouth.

“You have me now. Let her go,” Ben said, his voice low, dangerous.

“In due time, in due time. I think, first, a few lessons are in order. Can’t have your shipmates thinking it’s acceptable behavior to abandon ship for a little wench, now can we?”

Ben paled.

“And she happened to kill our dear Nico. We can’t let that go unpunished, no,” he said pleasantly as he reached out a grimy finger, running it down Rey’s cheek. She jerked her head, trying to avoid his touch, but Hux held her firmly.

“Stop it,” Ben snarled, his fists clenched. Two men ran forward, holding him back.

“No, no. No need to restrain him. You’ll behave, won’t you Kylo?” Snoke continued in his unnerving voice.

Ben tugged his hands free and held still. He knew Snoke’s cruelty, and he wouldn’t hesitate to slit Rey’s throat if Ben made any move.

“Now, that’s better,” Snoke said as he removed the gag from Rey’s mouth. “To make things as...efficient...as possible, I’ll give you a choice.”

Ben heard a thunk against the side of the ship, but it may as well have been his heart falling into his stomach. None of the other men on deck seemed to pay it any mind.

Snoke continued conversationally, “You can either hand her over to your crewmates for...discipling, or she can receive twenty lashes.” He smiled a twisted smile as he finished. 

All of Ben’s courage and feelings of defiance left him, and he felt himself close to vomiting. He looked at Rey, and he knew the terror in her eyes was reflected in his own, but she held her chin up. He saw he eyes flick to the whip at Snoke’s side. 

He hung his head. “The lash,” he muttered, defeated.

He heard the struggle as Snoke’s men bore Rey to the mast, fastening her arms over her head. He watched, disbelieving as Snoke approached him, the whip held out in his hand.

“I failed to mention you’d be the one delivering them,” he said, unable to contain the glee in his voice.

Ben’s breathing stopped. “No,” he whispered. “I can’t do this. Take me instead. Please,” he begged.

“You’ll do it or I’ll do it myself and throw her to the men afterward and make you watch,” Snoke hissed, pure venom in his voice now.

No matter how hard he tried to stop it, he felt the tears beginning to fall from his eyes. He looked at Rey, feeling completely broken, defeated. She twisted to look at him over her shoulder. Rey looked terrified, but there was a resolution in her gaze as she regarded him.

“It’s all right, Ben. It’ll be all right,” she said softly. He was a hair away from weeping openly, in awe of her strength.

Ben felt the rage bubble inside him as the men laughed and sneered. He was going to kill them all.

As he was about to raise his arm, he heard the shriek of a falcon overhead. A flash of rust and white swooped down over Snoke’s head, causing the man to scream out in pain. A pouring of crimson burst from between his fingers where he’d been clawed by the creature’s sharp talons. Ben’s eyes followed the bird, wide and uncomprehending, as it landed on the shoulder of a somewhat piratical looking man, a pistol in one hand and the massive falcon on the other. He was swarthy with a rakish grin. Beside him stood Finn, brandishing his own weapon. 

“Hugs, you miserable bastard, it’s been a long time,” he snarled, his grin disappearing as he took in the scene before him.

“HUX!” the red-head bellowed. “Kill them!”

Utter bedlam broke loose. A score of men had leapt on the deck of the Supremacy right as Hux had cried out and began attacking the First Order. Galvanized into action by the sight of Finn and the stranger, as well as the appearance of men who appeared to have it out for his enemies, Ben ran to Rey, cutting her wrists free. Finn was at his side in a second, handing him his extra pistol before dashing off. Ben crushed Rey to his chest, lifting her off her feet and running to the ladder he had used to climb up. 

“Get off this ship!” he said shoving her toward the ladder, having to shout to be heard above the din of battle.

Rey grabbed his arm, “Not without you!”

“Rey, please! I can’t lose you!”

“And what makes you think I can lose you?”

Ben stared at her, his jaw slack. He saw Rey’s eyes widen as she snatched the gun from his hand and fired a shot over his shoulder. Ben turned and saw one of Snoke’s men collapse a couple of feet from him.

“We don’t have time to argue! Focus, Ben!” Rey shouted and giving his face a light smack, shoving the gun back in his hand as she dashed for the dead man, grabbing his weapon instead.

Giving himself a good shake, Ben ran to Rey’s side, keeping his back against hers as they fired on the men trying to close in on them. Sparing a glance to his surroundings, Ben saw two massive gunships just off the bow, making ready to fire on the Supremacy. 

Ben didn’t have time to reflect as he realized Rey was no longer beside him. Dropping his empty pistol, he dashed to a body and snatched up the man’s discarded pistol and sword and looked frantically around. Relief flooded him when he saw Rey beside Finn, helping him take out a few more of Snoke’s men. A second later, the man himself was directly in front of Ben, frothing with rage and swinging his sword wildly. Ben was able to dodge the blade easily. Snoke was cursing and shouting, but Ben heard nothing as he plunged his blade into Snoke’s stomach, taking full advantage of the man’s erratic and unbalanced stance. Snoke’s eyes went wide, his body giving a jerk as Ben pulled the blade out. Ben looked down at the dying man coldly as he fell to his knees, hands clenched to his stomach. 

Looking up at the gunships again, Ben turned and made a mad dash for Finn and Rey as he heard a massive boom, grabbing their arms roughly and making for the railing where he pulled them over. Fire erupted behind them as they plummeted together into the water.


	10. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done!   
> I hope you guys enjoyed this one!   
> It ended up not being too much of the 'childhood friends' trope, but that's the way things go sometimes

**On Board the Raddus, off the coast of Nags Head, Outer Banks, North Carolina 1878**

Rey clung tight to Ben’s shoulders as he swam towards one of the other ships, kicking her feet like Ben told her to to help keep them moving forward. Finn was a few strokes ahead, since he didn’t have to carry anyone. She looked up and saw that they were heading for a ship named the Raddus. Recognition flashed in her mind, recalling that as one of the names written on Snoke’s map in his quarters.

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Finn?” Rey called out. After Ben had pulled them overboard to escape the cannonfire, Finn had insisted on heading toward the Raddus, saying they were friendly. The man that had leapt on the deck of the Supremacy and interrupted Snoke’s sadistic torture session was first mate on that ship, according to Finn. Rey just hoped they weren’t trading one band of ruthless cutthroats for another. Ben had nothing to say on the matter, occupied as he was with trying to keep himself and Rey moving and afloat.

“It’ll be alright!” Finn shouted over his shoulder as he reached the ship. He clambered quickly up the rope ladder that someone threw down. Ben helped Rey grab on to the ladder and pushed her up, the weight of her wet skirts trying to keep her in the water. Rey looked down, making sure Ben was following her, and saw him looking back at the burning wreckage of the Supremacy. He had a haunted look in his eyes, and Rey felt her heart twist. Several small crafts were making their way back towards the Raddus and the other ship, carrying the survivors. They had given no quarter to the crew of the Supremacy, and Rey was glad for that.

As she climbed awkwardly over the railing and planted her feet on the deck, Finn handed her a thick blanket. She wrapped it tightly around her shoulders and watched as Ben climbed over and collapsed beside her, shaking violently. Rey immediately fell to her knees, wrapping Ben in her arms beneath the blanket and cradling his head in her lap. She smoothed and stroked his soaked hair away from his face, murmuring calming shushing sounds as he sobbed in her lap, clinging desperately to her skirts.

“Shh, it’s alright, Ben. We’re alright now. We’re safe,” she soothed, placing her hand over his and stroking his knuckles, urging him to relax. His sobs subsided, but he still shook. Rey bent forward and kissed his temple.

She heard Finn talking and looked up. She blinked in surprise as a motley crew of men and women surrounded them weapons drawn but not aimed. 

“We’re not with the First Order!” Finn was saying. “I’m Finn, this is Rey, and that’s Ben. Well, Ben was with them, but he jumped ship ten years ago, and he just killed Snoke, so he’s good, I swear!”

“Finn, hush!” Rey snapped.

Finn seemed too far gone to hear her. “They took Rey to punish Ben, so we went to get her. Thank God you guys got here when you did! It was horrible what he was...”

“Finn!” Rey interrupted as Ben began to shake uncontrollably again. 

Finn finally turned, his eyes wide and terrified. His expression changed when he saw the state Ben was in, and he closed his mouth. “Oh, sorry, Rey,” he mumbled. He turned back to the crew on the deck and shrugged. “Anyway, that’s the short version.”

The swarthy man with the falcon stepped through the crew, having finally made it back on deck. “Name’s Dameron. Poe Dameron. Glad you guys made it,” he said holding his hand out to Finn. Finn took it, a bit hesitant, but the man, Poe, grabbed his hand firmly and gave it a hearty shake. The falcon gave a happy squawk. 

At Poe’s greeting, the rest of the men and women scattered back to their stations, making ready to head for Nags Head and the harbor. Poe led Finn off, insisting they needed an extra hand on deck. Rey cocked her head curiously at the man that remained. He was tall and square-jawed, older but still exuding a youthful vitality, his hair a silvery white. He wore a navy jacket with a bandolier slung across his shoulders, tan breeches, and tall black boots. His eyes were a clear blue and were filled with tears as he looked down at Rey and Ben. He held his hand out and a woman approached. She was short statured, but she had a commanding presence, and Rey felt her back straighten almost involuntarily. She was dressed in lavender grey breeches with tall boots and a purplish grey tunic, a pistol holstered at her side. Her grey hair was swept up in an elegant braided bun, and she too had tears in her eyes. They were Ben’s eyes.

The woman approached and kneeled before Rey and Ben, reaching cautiously out to place her hand on Ben’s back. The man too came to kneel beside her.

“Ben? Sweetheart?” the woman whispered, almost in disbelief. 

Ben lifted his head from Rey’s lap, staring wide-eyed at the kneeling woman. “Mom?” he breathed. “Dad?”

The woman clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle a sob as the man reached out and took Ben’s hand, hauling him out of Rey’s lap and into his arms. The woman wrapped her small arms around both men as best she could, holding them both tightly. Rey sat back on her heels and watched the reunion before her, tears falling freely down her cheeks. She had heard Ben call for his parents in his sleep, knew he hadn’t seen them since he was a small boy, and she was overjoyed that they finally found each other. 

Rey made to get up, maybe find Finn to give Ben and his parents some privacy, when Ben reached out and tugged her skirt, pulling her closer.

“This is Rey,” he was saying. Rey swallowed thickly, trying to keep herself from crying harder, even though the way Ben was looking at her was making that nearly impossible. “She saved me.”

The man and woman looked at her, and they smiled. Rey found herself blushing and looking away. The woman folded her into her arms in a warm embrace while the man rested his hand on her shoulder.

“I’m Leia and this is Han. Thank you for saving our Ben and keeping him safe,” she murmured in Rey’s ear.

***

Rey sat in quiet contemplation beside Finn as Poe rowed their small boat towards the harbor. The Raddus and the Falcon were too large to dock, so the crews were making their way into Nags Head via their smaller landing boats while the larger ships remained anchored off shore. Apparently they had been after the First Order for some time and wanted to celebrate their victory. 

Rey had slipped away with Finn while Ben went into the captain’s cabin to speak with his parents.

“Wait here for me, okay?” Ben had asked, holding her hands.

Rey had given him a teary smile and a nod, but she hadn’t been able to stay. In the time it had taken to get close enough to shore, she had learned so much. Ben came from a wealthy and influential family in New York. He wasn’t just Ben the blacksmith anymore. He was Ben Solo, heir to a large shipping empire. There was no way he would choose to remain in the sleepy little backwater Rey called home, and Rey had no desire to go to New York. The thought of having to function amongst high society terrified her, maybe more than thunderstorms, no matter how kind his parents were to her. She didn’t think she could bear Ben telling her that he was going to go home to New York with his parents, and she couldn’t tell him she wouldn’t go with him. He had said he loved her, but that was before he’d found his family. There was probably a whole life, a whole future waiting for him in New York, and Rey didn’t imagine a nobody from nowhere would fit in that picture. So, coward that she thought she was, she hopped into the boat with Finn, Poe, and a few others. Finn had raised a brow, but said nothing as he wrapped his arm around her, giving her a reassuring squeeze. She rested her head on his shoulder, the movement of the boat lulling her to sleep until they reached shore. 

She started awake when the boat thumped against the dock. 

“Which way to the tavern?” Poe asked, his eyes sparkling even in the dark.

Rey and Finn jerked their thumbs over their shoulders towards Hell Bar and said in unison, “That way.”

Their shipmates eagerly jumped out and made for the light in the distance, whooping and hollering the whole way. 

“You guys coming?” Poe asked as he helped them out. “It’s your victory as much as ours.”

“I’m not really welcome with the patrons,” Finn muttered darkly.

“Nonsense! Anyone that gives you shit will have to answer to me and BB here,” Poe insisted, pointing at his falcon, who, for his part, let out an indignant squawk. 

Finn smiled broadly, clearly ready to go. He looked at Rey a bit worriedly. “You coming?”

Rey shook her head. “I just want to go home.”

Finn nodded understandingly, and Poe gave her a sympathetic smile.

“You know where to find us,” Finn said gently as he and Poe made their way into town after the others. 

Rey watched them go before she turned in a different direction and made her way down to the beach and towards her home. She was still clutching the blanket around her, although it did little to warm her anymore, soaked through as it was. She picked up her pace and hurried, wanting to get home and into a warm bath and then in front of a warm fire.

The house was dark as she approached, and she felt a twinge of fear, but held her chin high and shook it off, although she did do a sweep around the large porch. Satisfied nothing was hiding in the dark, she went inside, lighting a few hall lamps along the way.

Rey went about the laborious process of heating water for the bath, which was luckily just off the kitchen for that reason. She put in a bit of lavender oil that Maz had made and soaked until she felt the heat again in her bones. Drying herself off, she grabbed her nightdress from beside the kitchen hearth and slipped it on, tying the ties in a daze. The warm muslin felt heavenly. Meandering to the living room, she lit a fire in the hearth and threw some blankets down on the floor in front of it, curling up on her side and holding another blanket up to her chin like she had when she was small. It was then that she let the tears come, and she cried herself to sleep in front of the fire’s gentle light.

***

“You left,” she heard Ben say gruffly in the dark.

Rey sat up with a start and rubbed her eyes, red and raw from crying. The fire had died down, but it still cast a dim light around the room. Ben was staring down at her, his expression once again unreadable. Rey sat up on her hip, holding herself up with the palm of her hand. She couldn’t look at him.

“I did,” she whispered sadly.

“Why?” Ben asked, his tone almost angry. “I asked you to wait for me.”

“I…,” Rey began before she started crying again. “I didn’t want to say goodbye,” she almost wailed.

Ben fell to his knees, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her close and rocking her. “Why would you have to say goodbye?” he asked gently.

“Why would you stay here? Aren’t you going to go home with your parents? I’m sure there’s so much waiting for you,” Rey babbled, barely hearing herself as she listed off a litany of reasons.

Ben said nothing. He turned her face to his and softly kissed her tear stained cheeks before kissing her trembling lips. Rey felt herself melt into his arms, returning his kiss with a desperate hunger as she clutched at his shirt. As she felt his hands running over her back to the ties at her chest, she knew. 

“I am home,” Ben murmured as he laid her back down in front of the fire, their shadows dancing on the walls by the light of the fire.


End file.
